No, no, no! Vibrator stops Vienna concert

Police were called to the Vienna Konzerthaus last night at 8.30 after a cloakroom attendant spotted suspicious movement in a suitcase.

An explosives expert arrived and an x-ray was taken.

The offensive item turned out to be a personal vibrator.

Someone in the audience must have had plans for the evening.

Report here.

 

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  • Sir David Geffen-Hall says:

    She must have forgot it in her coat.

    The climax of Mahler 2 is much better with a pocket rocket readily available.

  • Dalledu Alletre says:

    You mean, “someone in the audience did not have plans for the evening.”

  • Petros Linardos says:

    No, no, no: the concert went ahead as planned. Read the article.

    According to the Kronen Zeitungm the alarm happened at ground level, where the cloakrooms are.

    The owner got back their suitcase after the event. The officers informed them of the incident and wished them “einen schönen Abend”.

  • Herr Doktor says:

    This reflects the deranged behavior of liberals who are incapable of sustaining family relationships because of their embrace of socialist economics and policies….

    OMG…I’m channeling our beloved Sue!! HELP!!!!!

  • Nouvelles Aventures says:

    The concert has not been stopped.
    Joana Mallwitz conducted for the first time in Vienna and the audience just loved her (Siegfried-Idyll; Walküre 1.Akt)

  • anon says:

    It was probably synched to sound and vibrated to the music.

    Not to give readers any ideas for their next Bolero concert.

    Not that I know.

  • cym says:

    In today’s climate, the vibrator may be charged with …

    ‘battery’ …

  • Andreas B. says:

    Oh my – yes, this is a much better headline than yesterday’s…

    https://slippedisc.com/2019/11/youve-seen-the-nude-opera-star-headline-on-bloomberg/

  • AnySchiffInAStorm says:

    JEG has been eliminated from police enquiries.

  • Gustavo says:

    Dildo’s Lament

    Sure it wasn’t Valery’s tooth pick?

  • Sharon says:

    This reminds me of the story where a transit security agent found a vibrator when she was checking luggage of a lawyer. She wrote something like, “Get your groove on!” The lawyer complained but said that she did not expect the agent would be be fired which she was

  • Sue Sonata Form says:

    Er, why would anyone take a suitcase to the Wiener Konzerthaus – or any entertainment venue, for that matter? The hotels are all in close proximity and it merely needed to be checked in before hand. Weird.

  • mary says:

    “No, no, no!”

    Yes, Yes, Yes!

  • Rob says:

    Maybe it was planted.

  • excited says:

    Thank god nothing serious happened. It was just a false drilldough.

  • Patrick says:

    The Ride of the Valkyries, perhaps?

  • JPAULO says:

    Too bad they weren’t perfoming “Dido”.
    I am pretty certain you all know the rest. 😛

  • Sixtus says:

    I’ll have what she’s having.

  • Dinara Klinton says:

    That probably was Lola Astanova who arrived early for her Musikverein debut

  • Enquiring Mind says:

    Purcell’s “Dildo and Anus” programmed that night?

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