Tesla instals Bach to scare off thieves

From the publicity-seeking motor manufacturer:

Tesla CEO Eon Musk revealed additional details on how the company’s upcoming Sentry Mode theft-deterrent system will function, which includes a humorous look against the background of something as serious as addressing vehicle break-ins. According to Musk’s latest Tweet about the Iron Man-reminiscent feature, when an intrusion is detected while Sentry Mode is activated, composer Johann Sebastian Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D minor, BWV 565 will play, drawing as much attention as possible to the would-be perpetrator(s). 

This is Tesla’s choice:

Could we recommend something scarier?

Or a truly alarming interpreter?

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  • This acoustic assault is unnecessary in winter as the door handles of these cars freeze shut at subzero temperatures.

    But Elon has promised to fix it using a software update.

  • I will not watch any YouTube video titled “Best version ever” of anything!!! This shows that whoever picked that video to put in the article probably doesn’t even like Bach. Pick your own favorite for crissake; don’t just look for a version some asshat decided to call “Best version ever” to get clicks from morons who can’t think for themselves. I have my own favorite version, but I’m certainly not going to tell anyone it’s the “best ever” because everyone has their own preferences.

  • Something by Morton Feldman perhaps (although the risk of unsuspecting people within hearing-range throwing themselves into oncoming traffic is elevated).

  • Mozart Magic Flute, Papageno’s glockenspiel: if it worked for Monostatos, it will work for the thief too.

    Tesla’s big screen could even show that scene from Ingmar Bergman’s film. Starts at 0:35 in this clip:

    It’s sung in Swedish, but I don’t think this is a problem.

  • Good luck to them.

    In all the years of car alarms and flashing lights and automated “STAND AWAY FROM THE CAR” recordings, I have yet to ever see a parking lot cop so much as glance in the direction of one of these disturbances to ascertain if anything nefarious was going on.

    • Personally, when I hear a car alarm my only thought is that I wish the car thief would hurry up and break in so they can switch the mechanism off (or at least take the car some place else).

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