Unauthenticated: Kim Kardashian’s reply to Maestro Maazel

A draft communication, dropped into our box, appears to come from the terrestial celebrity. It is addressed to the former chief conductor of the New York Philharmonic Orchestra. We cannot vouch for its veracity, but it seemed worth sharing as a sign of our troubled times.


Hey Mae

So cool you totally liked my bathroom shots. I mean a big guy like you and little ole me. Wanna see some more? Like more, more?

Hey, listen, Mae. Things are a bit quiet for you’n’me right now in the runup to the holidays, right? Since we both big in social media, why don’t we, you’n’me, yunno, get it together like that other maestro, Hokey, and the majormajor Hollywood star, wasername, Greaser Garbo? (I got this from my new intern, Wuja, cool name, huh? Like, Wuja really do it?).


stokowski garbo


Yunno? Like we don’t have to do anything yukky…. Just make a few headies and break it off? Waddaya say, Mae?








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  • The Callipygian One’s literary skills would seem to rival those of that other glitterata of yesteryear, Paris Hilton, who is reputed–upon being faced with the daunting task of selecting an item from her menu–to have intoned to no one in her particular in her surrounding posse, “Someone tell me what is on this menu. I just hate reading!”

    I’m happy to report that that exhausts my stock of Trash Diva anecdotes.

    • I felt my IQ slowly sinking in the west as I read the story, the evidence of which is the pleonastic “her” in my otherwise pristine prose above! I hope to recover over generous bouts of Tolstoy in the near future. But seriously, are we really supposed to believe that Mrs. West had any idea who Stokowski and Garbo were? I mean, really, they were so last century!

    • @Mark Stratford: I think your comment provides the most likely reason! The others are just a bunch of ‘bollocks’, methinks! I am a retired violist and played with the ‘Mae’ in the late 70’s when he guest-conducted the New Philharmonia Orchestra (now the Philharmonia Orch).

  • Unless Kim K is suddenly a b**** from the ‘hood, this ain’t real. Obvs. She may not be bright, but she also ain’t no urban ‘hood rat. rflmao

  • @Barbara Chasson

    === I am a retired violist and played with the ‘Mae’ in the late 70′s when he guest-conducted the === New Philharmonia Orchestra

    Hi Barbara, so did you play in that Mahler cycle LM led (at RFH and RAH) around 1979 ?

        • No, Michael. I stopped playing regularly with the NPO and went ‘over’ to the LPO for a few years, plus playing all over the UK, Europe and Malasia with the ‘Delos Quartet’ (all female, and each from a different country: Malasia, English, American and Dutch, in quartet order, of course!).

        • Oh, I retired one year ago, at age 69+. Now back living in Mexico, where I started my viola career in 1968. The history behind that is a totally other story!

    • I attended an LM Mahler 6 at the RFH and his Mahler 8 at the RAH on June 13 and 17 that year. There was huge excitement around those performances. LM remained a fine conductor in those days. The orchestra name had reverted two years earlier, I believe.

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