Dear Alma, My ex is cancelling our concerts

From our agony aunt’s mailbag:

Dear Alma,

My ex-girlfriend is cancelling all our joint concerts, what should I do? It’s becoming publicly embarrassing because she doesn’t cancel all at once, she cancels each concert at the last possible minute, and each time the local press has to write about it, again, and audience members complain, again, and management is unhappy, again, and my agent is unhappy, again, and it makes me look bad even though I’m the one keeping my half of the commitment

Miserable, again

Dear Miserable, again,

Thank you for posting your query in the comments section on April 7. It states that your name is Chet, which throws a wrench in the whole darned thing. We were pretty sure you were a dashing young thing from Suomi, and then, scratching our chins for inspiration, we made the leap that your ex is a slightly older, really hot lady from PEK. Or, perhaps (it has been known to happen), you have cleverly disguised your identity by putting in that charmingly common Finish name of “Chet” as a pseudonym. And we here at SD are honored that you have chosen us as the person to come to in your time of need. That’s what we are here for, Chet.

I will now do my best to answer your intriguing love/work dilemma.

So you had a workplace romance. No need to state the obvious, but don’t do that again. However, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts for the lifetime of daydreams you made possible with your adorable social media posts …… (moment of silence for us to remember).

From the outside, it seems as if you are conducting yourself, Chet, in a professional manner. You always look freshly showered, with intriguingly tailored clothes. It’s your wounded ex (you must have really stomped hard on her heart) that comes off as unprofessional and unstable. You are honoring your obligations, and she is only hurting herself with these behaviors.

Miserable, again, are things still too hot to reach out to your ex (let’s call them “Marge”) and see if you can manage a truce? You could have your manager contact Marge’s manager and try to set up a mediated discussion. You could discuss the possibility of working together, what that could look like, and have a list of parameters that you would both agree to (no shared dressing room space, for example, no eye contact during work).

Chet, if things still need time to cool off between you and Marge, give it time. The audiences understand that this is beyond your control, and we feel the pain of your breakup. And your manager certainly can’t have anything to complain about, not really. You are the golden child with the golden baton. Just remember to not use that baton after working hours from now on.

Questions for Alma? Please put them in the comments section or send to DearAlmaQuery@gmail.com