Dear Alma, I have a Playboy sticker on my instrument case
OrchestrasFrom our agony aunt’s mailbag
Dear Alma,
I am in the brass section of an orchestra. Sometimes it feels quite claustrophobic. The person next to me, I think, happened to see some photos that came in on my phone, from someone I was dating. They weren’t appropriate for a work environment, but they just popped up. I don’t think it’s a huge deal. Not the best idea, but this person is threatening to make a big stink about it. They also gave me quite a stare about a playboy sticker I have on my case. It’s not really any of their business and I can put a sticker on my case. Lots of people have stickers that I don’t like, but I just leave it alone.
It just feels like I am being hunted, and even though I think it’s not a big deal, I am scared about the political environment these days and afraid I might get pigeonholed or worse.
I wish she would just calm down and take everything a little less seriously.
Wish they would just Calm Down
Dear WtwjCD,
Being in a tight workspace isn’t an easy thing for anybody. I can hear that you are trying to not care about your predicament, but you actually are quite fearful. You know that what popped up on your phone is not appropriate, and that having a controversial sticker only drives that message home. The message is that you don’t give a flying f*** about how other people might be feeling. And you should be afraid. Life isn’t what it used to be.
What you are asking above isn’t about caring for other people. You clearly don’t. What you are asking, you insensitive brute, is how to retain your job in good standing while not modifying your gross behaviors or beliefs. I, for one, don’t really feel like helping you. But it’s my job. So here goes.
Get rid of the sticker. Don’t have you phone on stage during rehearsals. Keep your private life private. If you get called in, offer a formal apology to your section mate. And for goodness sake, try to open your mind to how people might be feeling around you. It might feel like all fun and games to you, but it doesn’t to other people.
It takes courage to look in the mirror. Really look. But I think the time is nigh for a good long squint.
Questions for Alma? Please put them in the comments section or send to DearAlmaQuery@gmail.com
Yknow, with the small world we are in as classical musicians, one of these days the people who are writing to Alma will be revealed by accident. All orchestral players will now try and spot which trumpeter has a playboy sticker in his case.
Or like a few weeks ago, when the new up and coming pianist releases a Grieg and Schumann piano concerto album on a major label. We’d think ah – that’s the one who wrote to Alma!
Yes, yes…. Looking at cases!
Going by only what is in the letter, I agree with Alma. Having a Playboy sticker on your instrument case says “I am a sad perv.” And who wants to be friends with a sad perv?
Pretty pathetic, I agree.
Well, any musician knows that Brass are the jocks of the music world 😉 so the sticker’s not really a big surprise. I think the Agony Aunt just makes all this stuff up you kow… it’s alled outrage clickbait, which is a speciality of certain websites…
Why include an expletive? It adds nothing and suggests you don’t care about others feelings.
And having a BLM sticker, pride flag, Free Palestine, or an Ukraine flag on the case would be appropriate?
The reality is anything that reveals a person to be anything other than a complete left wing simp is likely going to get you in trouble with the current regime.
My advice? Give up. Dye your hair pink, change your gender, and plaster your case with Che images. Hide in plain sight. You’ll be the only one in on the joke if you do it correctly. The arts are forever lost to maverick attitudes & spirits; best to join the masses and show people how much you REALLY CARE about things that matter to their sensibilities.
Or learn how to weld and play in a community group that doesn’t pay much. Women and their sensitive attitudes have taken over public discourse – did you really expect Alma to believe you support all genders and other poppycock while admittedly being a horrible ogre with a playboy sticker on his case? (The nudes on the phone thing, tho – c’mon, that’s not cool around gals)
Well, someone sounds like they have a very “sensitive attitude” here, but I don’t think it’s a “gal.”
I’ve become numb to outrage, actually. At times my insensitivity bothers me.
That said, my main point still stands IMHO: fine arts are the realm of the woke and it is best not to challenge the supremacy of this group.
I tried all those things but see where it ended me up
Sally
This guy I seriously put to lunch! He doesn’t even realize it, which is the craziest part.
Th co-worker should never have been peering at your phone.
A Playboy sticker?
If I saw that on someone’s case I’d presume “ironic joke” rather than “perv”.
Tape some paper over it so no one can see it unless they remove the paper and then they’ve crossed the line of tampering with your property.
When you have different employment circumstances, you can show the sticker again.
If one chooses to reveal their grandiose preferences via “bumper sticker” then they suffer any consequences from their own vain stupidity. It will serve as a good lesson about when, where, what and why one should or should not engage in such moronic behavior.
So would we all prefer to see Trump’s mug shot on the case instead?
Such petty, and unimportant news on this website always gets clicks, —from me included! 😉
Alma and the majority of this comment section are sounding more like pearl-clutchers than functioning adults.
The bigger issue is that you apparently can’t live without your phone on stage. Is it too much to ask that perhaps you could pay attention to what’s going on musically? You have 22 other hours that you can use to obsess over your social media and dating apps. Honestly, this is what gets old. Integrity still matters, even in the brass section. In case you are wondering, I am a brass player and it’s okay to behave like a professional. I promise.
I really wonder who Alma is, who makes up most of her “letters” and why there is an agony aunt column here!
And yet you read.. even these comments! Nick2 – are you Alma?