Kaufmann shirtless caption contest

Kaufmann shirtless caption contest


norman lebrecht

April 11, 2021

From Vienna’s new Parsifal production:

Photo: Vienna State Opera / Michael Pöhn

1 It was his trainers I was after, not his shirt.

2 I told Garanca to look for it under the desk

3 Such a kind man, gave me the shirt off his back.


  • JS says:

    The guy without shirt is a russian “actor” named Nikolay Sidorenko. For Serebrennikov he’s THE PARSIFAL and it’s his show. You may want to see more Serebrennikov – Sidorenko “vision” take a look at this guy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/micklucha_macklay/. Anyway today it’s so-called “premiere”, without audience (and no straming) but maybe the singers will be allowed in. Not sure.

  • msc says:

    “Amfortas, Das Hemd!”

  • BRUCEB says:

    “I’ll try not to crack my notes if you’ll try not to notice my crack”

  • Alviano says:

    Quick. Find the shoes. He’s passing out and we gotta get him outta here before the next act starts.

  • Mock Mahler says:

    The Vienna State Opera streaming schedule has been confused.
    Though a stream of the new ‘Parsifal’ has not been scheduled, ‘Lohengrin’ was announced for streaming on April 8 AND April 11. Then April 8 was changed to ‘Fliegende Hollander’, which had just been streamed a week earlier.
    As of today (April 11), the VSO website is billboarding ‘Lohengrin’ for 7 pm, but the ‘Current Streaming Schedule’ lists the ‘Walkure’ performance just streamed on March 29.
    I’m signing on to see what actually appears. Hope to see some Wagner.

    • Anonymous Bosch says:

      First of all, Serebrennikov sets his production in a men’s prison for the criminally insane; Kundry is a reporter doing an exposé on it. Apparently the first two acts are Parsifal’s flashback, and he never appears as his current self till the third act. He has, indeed, an actor portraying him in the role of „Der damalige Parsifal” (roughly translated as Parsifal from That Time).

      So that’s whose torso you see; Kaufmann is clearly standing to the far left wearing a black hoodie.

      A performance was taped on 11 April, which was the last day of the scheduled run of performances. Between COVID and Lockdown #4, the plans for earlier broadcasts/telecasts were postponed a few times. Life in Austria currently shifts beneath your feet every day.

      The audio will be broadcast on Ö1 on Saturday 17 April starting at 19:30 CET.

      As opposed to the previous new productions which were shown on Staatsoper’s website and later on ORF 2, this production was filmed in cooperation with ARTE and will be broadcast for 30 days (for free) on ARTE Concert starting 18 April at 14:00 CET.

      There is a very detailed explanation to the production on Staatsoper’s website, if you take five minutes to poke around a bit.

  • Sue Sonata Form says:

    Any more cracks like that and I’m outta here!!

    What’s the difference anyway between a bit of cheek and tattoos? They’re both ostentatious but Groucho got there first:

    Oh! Lydia, the Queen of tattoo
    On her back is the Battle of Waterloo
    Beside it the Wreck of the Hesperus too
    And proudly above the waves
    The Red, White and Blue
    You can learn a lot from Lydia

    She can give you a view of the world
    In tattoo if you step up and tell her where
    For a dime you can see Kankakee or Paree
    Or Washington crossing the Delaware

    Oh! Lydia, oh! Lydia, say have you met Lydia
    Oh! Lydia, the tattooed lady
    When her muscles start relaxin’
    Up the hill comes Andrew Jackson
    Lydia, oh! Lydia, that “Encyclopedia”
    Oh! Lydia, the champ of them all……

  • Mr Vending Machine says:

    Oh no! Where’s the coffee cup gone?

  • Petros Linardos says:

    Caption: “Jonas Kaufmann, in black, next to Nikolay Sidorenko (lying shirtless) and Elīna Garanča.”
    Thank you JS.

  • Barry Guerrero says:

    Just looks like another day at the office, to me.

  • Donald Halliday says:

    Ignoramus meets male swan in breeding season.