LA gay chorus chair quits after sex allegations

Lance:

I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt — for now — and supply quotation marks for your description of homosexuality. If you truly believe what you’re saying, there is probably no point trying to reason with you. However, I’ll give it one shot.

First, the “wrongdoing” part.

“Sexual wrongdoing” is simply making unwanted sexual advances. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a gay person making a move on a straight person, or vice versa, or if the sexual orientations are a “normal” match. Unwanted is unwanted.

If a person (of whatever persuasion) make a move on someone (of whatever persuasion) who isn’t interested, their job is twofold: (1) don’t disrespect the person’s dignity or bodily sovereignty, and (2) don’t persist after they have indicated their lack of interest. If you violate either of those two rules, that is wrongdoing.

There are all kinds of additional sub-rules applying to the workplace, including, but not limited to: if you’re in the position of a superior, don’t hit on your subordinates — they may feel pressure, intended or not, to submit because of an implicit or explicit threat to their job. If you get involved with a co-worker and the two of you break up, don’t continue to pursue it in a way that affects the workplace environment. And so on. These rules may seem like they are endlessly proliferating; if they are, it’s because people keep demonstrating, through their boorish behavior, the need for them.

Second, the “offense” part.

Lack of interest in something does not automatically make that thing offensive. To make an analogy with going to the movies: If I’m not interested in superhero movies, does that mean I am offended by the mere existence of superhero movies? Not necessarily. If you invite me to go to one and I turn down your invitation, have you done something wrong? Not necessarily — if you let it go at that point. If I turn down your invitation and you keep asking me, now are you doing something wrong? Yes, because you are not respecting my choice. (At first, this is just a violation of etiquette, not of law.)

Sometimes a person likes going to the movies, just not superhero movies, and they’d be happy to go to a romantic comedy with you. Sometimes they like superhero movies, but they don’t want to go to one — or any movie — with you. Sometimes they simply aren’t interested in movies, period. Whatever the case, you should respect their preference, just as you would want someone to respect yours.

Just as there are straight people who are offended by the mere existence of homosexuality, regardless of whether anyone is interested in having gay sex with them, there surely must be gay people who are offended by the existence of heterosexuality. In neither case is this rational, but… well, people are not always rational.

Now, I don’t actually believe that your naiveté is real, but I’ve taken the trouble to respond as if it is, just in case.