No more Classical Brits

Just when you thought the record industry had run out of innovation, here’s a tweak to restore your faith in the bonus-bearing classes.

The Classical Brits are to be abolished, it has been announced.

photo: (c) bbc. all rights reserved
The ghastly, saccharine, butt-squirming show of the most desperate excesses by once-serious labels has been sent upstairs for a rebranding.
The new show, airing in May, will be called Classic Brits.
This year will feature Katharine Jenkins, Il Divo, the cast of Les Miserables and others who drum their heels on the dim-lit streets between two genres, offering a quick musical fix.
Next year, under the bold new title, we can expect to hear Cliff Richard, Helen Shapiro, Mick Jagger and Shirley Bassey alongside the para-classical street clackers listed above, thereby growing the granny audience and improving the chances for stairlift ad sales.
Don’t those boys just earn their bonuses? Don’t they just.

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  • I am in my sixties, so presumably I might be classed as part of the “granny” audience, but the idea of classical “cross over” performers who all seem to have some musical defect, alongside people like Cliff Richard, Mick Jagger and Shirley Bassey, fills me with abject horror. I’ll give the whole thing a very wide birth!

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