Dear Alma, I’ve got midlife droop

From our agony aunt’s mailbag:

Dear Alma,

I have had a steady, comfortable career in the same job for the past 25 years. It’s not that I am bored, necessarily, but I don’t feel like I even really know who I am anymore. It’s like I have taken on the role of my position and play by all of the rules, but my passion and creativity are completely gone. I’m lucky to have a steady, well-paying job but I feel like a shell of a human. I see other people being hired into my workplace and they get promoted or have special recognition, but I just stay exactly where I am, which is just a fine place. I am treading water, and have been for a good long while. 

Can you help?

Floating on By

Dear Floating on By,

Sounds like you are suffering from career stagnation, which, for many classical musicians, is a fantasy – a dream come true. Show up, do your job, get paid, have a guaranteed income. But you feel dead inside, maybe even redundant or inconsequential. Let’s find a way for you to enjoy the stability you deserve but relight the passion from your earlier years. Just a couple of tweaks should do just nicely.

It may be that you feel as if you haven’t learned any new skills, you are not challenged, you receive mediocre performance reviews, and you are not contributing in a meaningful way to your work environment. But it’s still the same you, Floating on By, that spent all of those hours practicing, going to school, and working your fingers to the bone. The passion is still in there, the drive. It’s just a bit “meh” under the comfort of the electric blanket of your comfy job.

One of the easiest ways to shake things up is to find different responsibilities in your job. Join a new committee, or even better, something in a different department or area of your job. If you are in an education setting, reach across and connect with a different discipline, creating an interdisciplinary project. If in a performance job, ask to be involved with community engagement or audience development.

You can learn a new skill, something related to your job (learning to rehair bows?) or completely different (glass blowing?). Take a chance and do something totally new – join a game club, sign up for a weekend course, or take an exotic vacation. Ask for time off of work – a week or longer – to completely get away and rejuvenate.

Floating on By, now is the time to enjoy the work you have put in, but don’t let that settle you into a lazy, downward slope. You have so much in you, the experience of years to share. Think back to all of the amazing moments you have had, and share your knowledge and gifts with others around you. Then you will find your purpose again.

Questions for Alma? Please put them in the comments section or send to DearAlmaQuery@gmail.com