Dear Alma, Am I too shy to succeed in music?

Dear Alma,

I am in my last year in school, and I am utterly terrified about the future. I am a decent player (about the middle of the pack here), and two years ago, I had a crisis where I wanted desperately to change my major. My teacher talked me out of it, but now I regret that decision. I am very shy, have basically no stage presence, and am terrible under pressure. I don’t really want to shine, or find any happiness in playing my instrument. I just want to have a normal job where I can disappear. I am very deep in debt, and my parents really have no idea how bad it all is.

What should I do?

Alma, please help me

Dear Please Help Me,

It’s true. A career in classical music is for the brave, for the daring, for those wanting to show the world what they believe and how much work they are willing to put in to turn those puzzle pieces into a stunning picture. Although it’s too late, in your last semester, to make a complete change, I don’t think it’s too late to make some small ones. And I think you do need to do this. I absolutely think you need to.

Dear sweet young musician, it is a shame that your teacher did not listen to your call for help. Having been on the other side of the music stand, I can tell you that teachers are often under pressure to keep a quota of students in their studios and will honor that pressure over the needs and realistic desires of their students, who are blind to the back-stage shenanigans that music schools put their teachers in to.

Once upon a time, I knew an excellent musician who was teaching at an excellent school. He had been there for a number of years, started a family, bought a beautiful house, and was an important member of the local music community. One of his students came to him with a feeling such as yours, in crisis. He told that person the truth. Try a different degree – trust your instincts and search for a path that makes you happy, not fearful and small. You know what happened? He was called into the office, and summarily fired. He was in the midst of his tenure meetings, and was told to pack his things and be out at the end of the semester. This created a permanent stain on his references and he has not been able to get a job in a university since that time. In essence, he has had to change careers, going back to school to retrain for a related job.

It’s criminal.

Please Help Me, go to the school and ask for a meeting with the career office. Ask them for help to look at your existing credits and what other degrees can use these credits. Take one of those silly career tests and see what you think about the results. Maybe it will say you should be a horticulturist, a statistician, or a graphic designer. You might have to add a year or more to your degree, but that’s worth it. If you are in a music conservatory, go to the university in your town and meet with them, bringing your transcripts, to find options to transfer or get a short, second degree.

I am not sure the exact steps you need to take, but if you have never been brave up until this point, sweet, scared Please Help Me, now is the time. It’s your life, dive into it.

Questions for Alma? Please put them in the comments section or send to DearAlmaQuery@gmail.com