Dear Alma, I’m a shrink with a problem
OrchestrasDear Alma,
I am a shrink with some issues.
My consulting rooms are near the concert hall. I was not surprised when one of the philharmonic musicians came to see me. I was a little alarmed when the numbers rose. I am now offering therapy to four very stressed musicians.
I have no problem separating. But some of the matters raised by the musicians are similar and interconnected. Two of them, it turns out, were briefly lovers. Neither knows the other is seeing me.
My supervisor says I should probably detach from one of them, saying that my doctor ordered me to reduce my workload.
But which do I drop? One is a violist, the other the concertmaster. Both are female.
All else aside, I can’t go to orchestral concerts any more.
Fifty-minute Florence
Dear Fifty-minute Florence,
It’s sound advice to remove your clients with cross-purposes. If you continue to see them, hearing two sides of the same story, it will be very difficult to remain completely neutral and honest.
Who to let go? That is a tough question. Which of the two do you think you are more suited to help? Do you have a list of other therapists who would match well with either of these two clients? Consider both your ability to help them as well as their impact on your personal well-being. Weigh these questions, and make your decision.
Fifty-minute Florence, the biggest takeaway I have here is that you no longer attend orchestra concerts. Please don’t have your work negatively impact your pleasure. We all know that orchestras are seething pits of venomous snakes, and that many of our greatest composers of the past were absolute emotional messes. But the miraculous music they create comes from that chaos. Just imagine what an orchestra of well-balanced, kind, and respectful people would sound like. Boring boring boring. Give me a passionate, hot mess any day over a bloke punching in and out of a 10-hour work day. The conflict creates the art.
Go to the orchestra. Enjoy the spectacle. And be happy in the knowledge that your are helping those musicians find the equilibrium they are searching for.
Questions for Alma? Please put them in the comments section or send to DearAlmaQuery@gmail.com
If you offered a discount in exchange for tickets, you could probably get the entire orchestra as clients.
The conductor would probably need daily appointments.
“… a bloke punching in and out of a 10-hour work day…”
Alma has been making some quite off-colour remarks lately. I was particularly appalled by Alma’s advice to the younger male pianist being coerced into sex with his older soprano collaborator, in which Alma appeared to excuse that predator. Imagine if the genders and roles had been reversed.
https://slippedisc.com/2024/05/dear-alma-im-obliged-to-have-sex-with-the-soloist/
It’s good news that the insurance for the orchestras is strong enough to cover the visits.
Yeah, yeah, it will be so professional, responsible, honest and whatever to quit the awkward situation, but it will be so much more fun to continue. Honest peeps don’t write best selling books afterwards.
A research project at the Texas Institute of Technology led by famous Dr Hofstadter has shown that the more consonances an orchestra plays during a season, the better the mental health of its players. “We have carried-out statistical measurements of the programs of the [redacted] Symphony Orchestra and [redacted] Philharmonic Orchestra during season 2023/24 and compared them with the outcomes of similar measurements for 18/19, 19/20 and 20/21, and we found that if the number of consonances and dissonances remains at a balance of circa 75/25, the proclivity to neurosis and health issues of the players goes down, while a balance of 50/50 or worse leads to serious disruptions of both mental and physical health”, Dr Hofstadter said in an interview with the American Journal of Orchestral Misery. He also referred to a research project carried-out in the seventies of the last century at the orchestra of the German radio station in Baden Baden, which had an average balance of dissonance of 97,5%, leading to rampant divorce cases, unwarranted erotic assaults during rehearsels, psychodebatable neurosis, sleeplessness, paranoia and chronic multiple eclats (as reported by the Stürmische Beobachter in May 1978).
Dr Hofstadter explained the relationship between conso- and dissonances and players’ mental health by suggesting that classical music has more impact upon the emotional life of musicians than had been previously thought.
I’m appalled at the breach of psychotherapeutic confidentiality, and in such a public forum, no less. It is likely that someone adjacent to the situation could easily recognize the musicians in question. Alma, your first piece of advice should have been for the writer to review her professional ethics. This is not how therapists are trained to behave.
“I’m appalled at the breach of psychotherapeutic confidentiality, and in such a public forum”
Absolutely spot on. Either this is yet another fabricated message or a serious lapse of judgement. Those players can be easily identified. Utterly irresponsible to send and to publish.
I’ve known Alma for years when I was in therapy myself and I can confirm she is really very professional, I got rid of my boss at the time after only 4 years of therapy. Also she cured me of my panic attacks when listening to Mozart.
Sally