A conductor writes: ‘I have dealt with a lot of aggressive, entitled men ‘

The conductor Rebecca Bryant Novak is a doctoral student at Eastman School of Music. She’s having a tough time complaining about a particular faculty member.

Here are some of the issues:

…I’ve never been sexually assaulted, but I have dealt with a lot of aggressive, entitled men in this field and the institutions that protect them – most recently at the Eastman School of Music.

It’s impossible, in situations like these, to know how much to share and how much not to, especially in a forum as wide-open as the internet. Over-sharing can feel irresponsible. So can under-sharing. It leaves an awful lot to the imagination.

The ambiguity of that decision is one reason, among many, that so many people in problem situations say nothing. I’m not going to do that. Saying nothing can be the most irresponsible thing of all. But one of many, many costs of going through a situation like this is agonizing over the balance between saying too much and not saying enough.

I’m a doctoral student in orchestral conducting at Eastman – one of very, very few women admitted to the program in its history. Six weeks into my first semester, I had to report a long list of concerns about a faculty member.

Some of it was hostile, unprofessional behavior and some troubling comments – toward and about other students. Some of the hostility was directed at me, in addition to some gender-based remarks and privacy concerns. By the time I raised concerns, the situation had become extremely uncomfortable. Most of it was clearly documented. And the problems weren’t new. He said he’d gotten “a slap on the wrist” for bad behavior in the past.

The school was well aware of ongoing issues. I took a long report to the appropriate member of Eastman’s leadership. His first advice was that I transfer out of the school all together, because, he said, “I don’t want things to get bad for you.”

I didn’t expect a perfect response, but I was genuinely shocked by the degree – bordering on adulation – to which Eastman protected its faculty – despite clear-cut, chronic issues of behavior and competence. (Badly behaved geniuses are a myth. I’ve never met one – just lots of emperors who have no clothes.)

The first solution I accepted was limiting my contact with the situation. It wasn’t a perfect plan, but it allowed me to get on with my life. When the faculty member objected, Eastman altered the agreement to suit his wishes. I wasn’t asked – just told that if I didn’t comply, I wouldn’t get my degree – despite the fact that several members of the school’s leadership had expressed concern about our having prolonged contact.

I refused, and told Eastman they were welcome to fail me out of the program. What ensued was an administrative nightmare, and it took three tenured faculty members – all women – taking up the issue on my behalf, and my decision to initiate a university investigation (on issues that were largely documented and not in dispute), to even get a partial resolution.

Even then, I was in an enormously compromised position. I lost opportunities I would have otherwise had and lost the potential for references. I also spent the entire first year of my doctorate in a state of constant stress, discomfort, and distraction.

Other students and faculty members in my department offered little support, despite being aware of the situation. Most didn’t even offer a private word of concern. Some excused and enabled the behavior. It is continually shocking to me that an entire professional culture still treats this kind of thing as normal.

I’m a doctoral student, and I came back to the degree after spending time in the professional field. This was a nearly impossible process for me to manage, and it has taken a huge toll on my work and sanity. If one of Eastman’s many 17- or 18-year-old students took this on, it’s hard to imagine how they could make it through. Mine wasn’t the worst situation imaginable, and it was still hugely damaging.

I’ve said repeatedly, for nearly nine months, that the attitudes Eastman operates on – and models for its students – are irresponsible. The situation I experienced is a direct antecedent to the kind of abuse seen at the New York Philharmonic and so many other places. The degree is different, but the mechanisms are exactly the same.

Students are learning those lessons – of fear, compliance, silence, the normalization of abuse – right here, right now. You don’t have to teach those lessons explicitly. You just have to make it clear who is protected and who is not, and the lessons teach themselves.

Eastman has only doubled down and deflected. I have been repeatedly lectured on the rights and status of its faculty members. I have seen some truly extraordinary mental gymnastics performed on behalf of the man I reported. Because – as Eastman’s Title IX Coordinator told me – “He’s faculty, so we trust his judgment.”

Read on here.