Dear Alma, My perfectionist teacher is killing me
Daily Comfort ZoneDear Alma,
I have a playing test on February 5th. I’m supposed to have all of a Mozart concerto ready, two movements of a show piece, and all of a sonata prepared by then. I don’t think the whole sonata will happen, so I am hoping to replace the last movement with a different solo piece. I still have to learn the second movement of the show piece and the last movement of Mozart and all of my cadenzas! How can I do this when my teacher is a perfectionist and won’t let me move on unless it’s completely perfect? We often spend a whole lesson on 10-20 measures of music! I am at the point where I really want to do well and I am burnt out and stressed all at the same time.
Sincerely,
I Hope I Don’t Flunk My Test
Dear IHIDFMT,
Why do some teachers do that? Are they completely out to lunch, or do they not care about their students, or did the school hire a famous name player who has absolutely no idea how to teach? Ridiculous. Not your fault. Ugh. Ugh Big Time.
Ok. Teachable moment here from Alma to IHIDFMT. You are an adult. Soon you will have no teacher, and you will have to prepare your own repertoire – whether that’s an orchestral audition, music for gigs, or recital /concerto repertoire. You are good enough to have gotten into a school, so you know how to practice. Your teacher will not help you out, in fact, quite the opposite. You need to figure out how to rely on yourself, and pronto.
You have a network of friends and former teachers. Use that. Learn your pieces. Record yourself and teach yourself. Watch YouTube for fingerings and bowings. Choose your cadenzas wisely – you don’t have to do the most difficult ones. Ditto for sonata. Is there an old sonata you can warm up from the past? Reach out to your former teacher for a zoom lesson (or in-person if you are close). Rehearse with your school-assigned pianist as much as you can, starting yesterday. Make a graph. Decide specific goals per day and week. Set up several informal playthroughs at school and invite your friends to also play. Force yourself to play through entire movements. No matter how hideous they sound. It will get better, quickly. You are certainly not the only one in this lifeboat, floating out at sea with no captain. Take the oars.
It’s amazing what an intense amount of pressure, combined with personal conviction can enable us to do. You can learn this music. Buckle down, pare down your life to the essentials. Practice smart. Record and listen to yourself. Become your own teacher. And practice, practice, practice. Looking back at this moment in 15 years, it might turn out to be one of your best 3 weeks ever!
Questions for Alma? Please put them in the comments section or send to DearAlmaQuery@gmail.com
Surely your institution has a process for changing teachers to one with whom you “click”.
Dear IHIDFMT,
If you still have pieces this close to the test that you “haven’t learned yet” (does that mean they’re not memorized, or you haven’t even gotten the notes under your fingers??), it sounds as if you haven’t managed your own practice schedule very well. Why are you shifting the blame on your “perfectionist” teacher? Have you honestly been doing the work that is your own responsibility?
Focus on the test, not the teacher. If necessary, pretend during the lesson that you’re following the teacher’s instructions, acquiesce, make them feel good about themselves, and just focus on doing the test as best you can. Consider even skipping a lesson or two as your test nears, as an additional couple of lessons may well have no effect whatsoever on your performance, as it’s coming up soon. You’re taking the test — your teacher isn’t the one playing.
This type of perfectionism is just wrong, both metaphorically and literally. Progress doesn’t happen in a linear fashion, but in fits and starts. Sometimes you pick up a piece which you haven’t played in 10 years and everything suddenly works beautifully. That’s because your unconscious was working throughout and because you yourself evolved as a player. Conversely, having an anal-retentive approach, as opposed to a holistic one, often leads to disaster, due to a form of mental paralysis that sets in. Don’t let that happen — it won’t be perfect the day of the test anyway. Make it as best you can and dismiss any other considerations.
We have all had a teacher like this at some point. It’s important to move on and realize the teacher isn’t going to help.
In defense of such a teacher: he may not be efficient or even helpful in the short term. When this writer graduates, however, this attention to musical and technical detail, as well as exquisite precision-practice skills, are what he will carry away with him and what he will use “to be his own teacher” later in life (or even in preparation for this test). Not altogether useless, IMO.
I have just attended a rehearsal during which the conductor spent at least two-thirds of everybody’s time talking and giving trifling instructions; and this at a dress rehearsal.
There are a few things here that are obviously missing if a perfectionist teacher often spends an hour on 10-20 bars of music. Do you just repeat them over and over, or are you working on things the entire time. I often teach this way, and expect my students to use the techniques and methods we have practiced throughout the whole piece, on their own time. Some people don’t like this approach, but they often are also less detail oriented than I feel is necessary. The advice you’ve gotten certainly stands, but I wonder why you aren’t doing it already on your own? When you are in a conservatory, you really have to prepare by yourself. Your teacher cannot spoon feed you, perhaps the way you were taught before. Also, a teacher who listens to whole movements and gives vague praise and encouragement is just as useless as one who never moves. Have you communicated this stress to your professor? Find a way to move forward together, it sounds like he/she is doing things in a way that can work, if you work with it. Granted, people can exaggerate,but high standards require perfectionism, in our profession most of all!
Great advice from Alma! Couldn’t agree more. Musicians, sooner or later, become their own teachers.
Perfection? You’re a student! And an artist is always a work in progress. In any case there’s no guarantee against sweaty fingers or memory lapse, so just go in and do your best. Like any real artist. Break a leg!