Dear Alma, I have a Playboy sticker on my instrument case

From our agony aunt’s mailbag

Dear Alma,

I am in the brass section of an orchestra. Sometimes it feels quite claustrophobic. The person next to me, I think, happened to see some photos that came in on my phone, from someone I was dating. They weren’t appropriate for a work environment, but they just popped up. I don’t think it’s a huge deal. Not the best idea, but this person is threatening to make a big stink about it. They also gave me quite a stare about a playboy sticker I have on my case. It’s not really any of their business and I can put a sticker on my case. Lots of people have stickers that I don’t like, but I just leave it alone.

It just feels like I am being hunted, and even though I think it’s not a big deal, I am scared about the political environment these days and afraid I might get pigeonholed or worse.

I wish she would just calm down and take everything a little less seriously.

Wish they would just Calm Down

Dear WtwjCD,

Being in a tight workspace isn’t an easy thing for anybody. I can hear that you are trying to not care about your predicament, but you actually are quite fearful. You know that what popped up on your phone is not appropriate, and that having a controversial sticker only drives that message home. The message is that you don’t give a flying f*** about how other people might be feeling. And you should be afraid. Life isn’t what it used to be.

What you are asking above isn’t about caring for other people. You clearly don’t. What you are asking, you insensitive brute, is how to retain your job in good standing while not modifying your gross behaviors or beliefs. I, for one, don’t really feel like helping you. But it’s my job. So here goes.

Get rid of the sticker. Don’t have you phone on stage during rehearsals. Keep your private life private. If you get called in, offer a formal apology to your section mate. And for goodness sake, try to open your mind to how people might be feeling around you. It might feel like all fun and games to you, but it doesn’t to other people.

It takes courage to look in the mirror. Really look. But I think the time is nigh for a good long squint.

Questions for Alma? Please put them in the comments section or send to DearAlmaQuery@gmail.com