Dear Alma, I’m suffering from post-auditions trauma

From our agony aunt’s mailbag:

Dear Alma,

I’ve been contemplating when it’s the right time to let go of auditions and move forward. Moreover, how can one come to terms with the notion of ‘moving on’? My audition journey has been significantly affected by the unfortunate timing of events – just when I was ready to give my all, excelling and advancing to final rounds, the upheaval of COVID turned everything upside down.

As life gradually resumed its course after the chaos, I encountered a myriad of audition scenarios: moments where I performed admirably but didn’t progress, instances where I failed outright, and even situations where my performance seemed inconsequential.

Furthermore, enduring long-term effects of COVID has severely impacted my breathing for quite a while (particularly critical as I’m a woodwind player) and made the matter worse. I find myself lacking the motivation to practice; the closer the audition date looms, the further my motivation slips.

I acknowledge that in my current state of mind, winning a position seems unattainable.

Any guidance on how to rekindle my passion or navigate this challenging phase would be immensely appreciated.

Best regards,

Lost in Post-Covid

Dear Lost in Post-Covid,

Landing a job is tough work. It takes persistence, adaptability, organization, endless energy, and positivity. You are in a tough spot because of Long Covid, a thorny and inconsistent illness that is able to affect just about any part of your body or mind, whenever and however it sees fit.

Lost in Post-Covid, you are stuck in a bad pattern. Let’s shake it up and take an eagle’s eye view of the situation. From your letter, you seem to be quite accomplished. You also seem to have a very narrow idea of what you need to be doing for a living – playing full time in an orchestra. First things first – let’s throw that idea straight out the window. That’s the reason you are frozen – you can’t see the forest for the trees. And there are so many lovely trees to look at. Here are some simple steps to shake it up and give you a fresh start on this journey.

Assess your skills: what are your strengths and weaknesses, your interests? Think back on your whole life and find the moments that made you the most curious, the happiest. Dream of how these passions can interact with a career in music.

Research: look past the obvious orchestral audition circuit jobs. What about a university position, substitute orchestra position, or arts management? How about conducting an adult amateur orchestra or coaching talented kids? Peruse Musical Chairs or other job sites for ideas and inspiration.

Set realistic goals: apply for 3 jobs a week, keeping track of your progress. Be patient and take good care of yourself. Eat well, exercise, and continue to make the effort to see friends.

Network: reach out to former teachers or students, the career office at your old school, and friends. Ask advice. And stay organized with the information they share with you. Find ways of playing, whether sightreading with friends, substituting, or in pickup groups.

No one has the career they imagined for themselves when in school. You are stuck right now, but only because you are not allowing yourself to reach beyond your specific (and very difficult) expectations of a career. Happiness and fulfillment take many different shapes. Be courageous and take a step towards a new path, and you may be surprised to find you might actually enjoy the process!

Questions for Alma? Please put them in the comments section or send to DearAlmaQuery@gmail.com