Dear Alma, Why are music teachers such gropers?
OrchestrasDear Alma,
Not long ago the mother of a gifted young violinist asked me to recommend a teacher in London, but only a female teacher. It turned out that the student had had consultation lessons with various male teachers, but all of them were “handsy”. How is this still allowed to go on?
Sick of the Hands
Dear Sick of the Hands,
Reading this makes me sick. I can taste the metallic tinge at the back of my mouth, thinking back on my own experiences (and near missed) throughout my career, and being the mother of two daughters who are musicians, I fear for them, at the same time as being completely transparent to them about the realities of the world and teaching them to be strong, trust their instincts, and push back and fight if necessary. I completely agree with you. What kind of world do we still live in, where people who work very hard at their crafts are potentially exposed to questionable and downright illegal behaviors. It’s so last year. And so scary.
What I read from your letter shows me a couple of interesting points. Firstly, that the young student was aware of herself and situation and able to communicate this to her parent. That the parent listened, supported her, and sought advice from a trusted source. That you, as the source, understand the seriousness of the question and are able to advise appropriately.
Being completely candid here, as a mother and teacher, I most often advise that my female students study with a female teacher, whether as a young person or someone going into university. This is not to say that I am unaware of male student abuse, or the possibility of female teacher abuse, but I particularly (and statistics will support this) am concerned about female students with male teachers.
Teach your daughters to be strong, to be quick with their actions, and to anticipate and avoid situations. Explains what these situations are. What grooming is. Why, Sick of the Hands, do we still find ourselves having to train victims rather than perpetrators? It is a story as old as time itself. It’s why we can’t jog early in the morning, why we can’t walk alone at night, and why we can’t have too many drinks at a bar. As a female, we are never safe, and can never let our guard down. It’s just the stupid truth.
Parents: attend the lessons for underage students. College students: record every lesson. Make sure there is a window in the door of the lesson room. Do not let the teacher stand between you and the door. Walk out immediately if you feel uncomfortable and go straight to the office, with your recording. Ask for the teacher’s studio policy, which should clarify behavior expectations and rules. Tell the teacher that you have a no-touch rule, and if they need to touch the student, to ask you first. But, I honestly just advise to have a female teacher. It’s the safest and best choice.
Sorry, guy teachers, you had your chance (for the last 300 years) and you screwed it up. Over and over again. If you want redemption or a clean slate, give your potential students and parents your policy statement up front. Tell the parents to attend the lessons, and to record the lessons. Record the lessons yourself and make sure you aren’t being creepy or making your students feel uncomfortable. Have a window in your door. Don’t stand between the door and your students. Don’t touch your students. Find another way to teach. Be creative. We taught on zoom during Covid – I have students I never met who are attending Julliard and winning big competitions. I didn’t have to touch them. Don’t groom people. Don’t talk about personal things, or sexual things. Pretend like you are teaching your niece. Don’t be a perv.
Man Teacher: prove to us that you are worthy. Then maybe slowly, we can trust you again. Like, in 300 years.
Zoom teaching is a poor substitute for the real thing.
While you’re not wrong…. *that’s* what caught your attention in this article?
The point is that touching a student is not always necessary. Not that Zoom teaching is better than live teaching.
As soon as I saw Juilliard spelled incorrectly, I knew they were embellishing the Zoom teaching accomplishments. Any conservatory teacher/student would disagree with this. But this is besides the main point…
Spell check perhaps? I think you are missing the point, here, Sterling. And that’s the main problem.
It is beside the main point. Autocorrect co,es to mind.
“Don’t be a perv.” Good advice for life in general. Unfortunately it’s one too many men just can’t manage to follow.
Just men? REALLY??? As a card-carrying male, all through my life many WOMEN have tried to cop a feel more times than I can count. “Statistics” be damned.
As with all life lessons, it is the responsibility of the parent to sensitize their children to dangers that lurk and to know how to handle any situation. Who didn’t learn not to get into a strange car or not to take candy from strangers?
Societal threats are worse today, which means that parents must step up. That’s the responsibility of having children. My parents prepared me for the real world.
Stop vilifying males. Predators come in all flavors. What you propose predjudices young women against the entire male sex.
(I won’t even deign to weigh in on your Zoom recommendations.)
Read the headlines on this site and any news site. Please report back as to the proportion of male predators vs female predators, as well as make victims and female victims. Looking forward to your findings.
You are crazy. Wake up and realize what the world is like. 26.4% of undergraduate females experience rape or sexual assault and 6.8% men. Men vilify themselves. Read the headlines and become aware of the world you are living in. Become an advocate of women and girls. Be an example. That’s the point of this Dear Alma.
It’s not about “coping a feel”. You plainly don’t understand the post. It is about sexual abuse and grooming young girls and female students. You don’t understand the seriousness if the issue, which explains why, in many ways, this problem persists. Maybe male teachers think they are trying to “cop a feel” when in reality, they are sexually abusing their students.
My son’s wife was in hospital actually giving birth to their second child and a woman in the office was furiously chatting him up. She just wouldn’t take no for an answer!! No discussion of this would be tolerated, so stonewalling is also part of the problem.
Wait – I don’t get it. Why was he in the office instead of in the hospital room? Not quite getting the point here. Seems like your son was in the office just waiting for his child to be born? If she was actually giving birth, why wasn’t he in the room? Maybe he was smoking a cigar and having a mixed drink, waiting for the news?
Yeah I know. The stories I could tell about aggressive women and touchiness. And leering, and comments.
But of course we can’t talk about that.
Jim – please do talk about it! And while you are at it, why not give us some names of female music professors who have been jailed or suspended for sexual misconduct?
The female trumpet teacher (2009) springs to mind. She went to prison for 15 months.
Man here. Nobody is vilifying males.
Pointing out that a significantly higher percentage of sexual abuse in the music world is perpetrated by men towards women than the other way around isn’t “vilification.”
“What you propose predjudices young women against the entire male sex.”
Oh, please. You need some wax for that cross?
Yesssss well said.
Solidarity.
I didn’t say anything about Zoom.
There is no way women sexually harass or assault men on the scale that men do those things to women.
Name me one female teacher that has abused her students in music schools and conservatives. I’ll wait.
I will wait too
I know – put on a timer and see how long it takes to find 10 female music teachers dismissed for sexual assault. Then put on a timer to find the same number of men. I bet the first timer would be long enough to prepare a Coq au Vin and the second to toast a piece of bread.
Waaaaaaaiting……
Google it yourself. Nobody’s here to serve you.
A child or young person being abused by their teacher is their parents’ fault not the teacher abusing them? Is that seriously what you’re saying
Your comments are spot on. Maybe it was also what she was wearing? Or that she was friendly or had brown hair. Or had two feet.
I hope the student sought out whatever online ratings there might be for these teachers and commented on her experience, to help other potential students.
Yes, because slander and defamation and making accusations that can’t be refuted is so empowering now.
Well said. And not just teachers, but the music profession itself.
Wow, Alma was triggered. Why not elaborate on “handsy”? Was the teacher grabbing her butt or simply correcting hand position? Was the kid hyper sensitive because their parent brainwashed them into thinking any man is a potential abuser?
When I teach private drum lessons I can’t stand when parents sit in. It’s just a distraction and breaks the students concentration. Go away. Most instrument lessons require correcting of hand position or gestures. I ask first. But this response from Alma is over the top!
Ummmm. Really? Read the news.
It’s good that you ask first. Most don’t. I can’t even count the times that a male teacher’s hands ran down my back, up my neck, or rested for too long in any number of locations.
Alma is clearly chasing her own demons.
There is probably not one person who read this who didn’t get triggered on one side or another.
You know, if you try to specifically zero in on what the behavior actually was, these people always go ballistic. That’s because in most cases these stories are heavily embroidered for effect.
Is sexual abuse really heavily embroidered? I can see why I wouldn’t send a student your way.
You have no rig
You are an insensitive pig. Re-read your first paragraph. This is a post about a young girl who was uncomfortable. Respect that. If that was your daughter, would you ask her if the teacher was grabbing her butt? Would you accuse your daughter of being hyper sensitive? You are part of the problem. Be a part of the solution, please.
In all the decades I took lessons in piano and nearly every percussion instrument, I *never* had a teacher who physically touched me to correct my “hand position or gestures,” as you claim is necessary. They demonstrated the correction, and I incorporated it.
Likewise, I never found it necessary to physically touch my students to teach them. Respect and dignity do not stop at the door to the teaching studio. I challenge you to evaluate your thinking from a less defensive posture, and then do better.
I am happy if parents want to sit in. This has come about because of generations of women and girls in music education being seen as a perk of the job. You clearly have no idea of the scale of the problem and the talent drain it has caused. You can easily correct hand position verbally and by demonstration.
Teacher is correct. Learn to be a better teacher, Couperin. I grew up sitting in the lesson before mine and it was fantastic.
As a male voice teacher, I have to put my hands on students to evaluate breathing and, to some degree, support. Just tell the student exactly what you are going to do and why. If they can’t handle that, say Bye-bye.
Yes, understood. Make sure to protect yourself by asking if the student is comfortable and make sure you have a good insurance policy while you are at it.
After you explain why, make sure they understand and are comfortable.
Good advice.
Where do you “have” to put your hands? On the body not fingertips an instrument I’m guessing. Could you imagine how intrusive that would feel to a teenage girl for example? I’m sure lots of them can’t “handle” that method. I teach flute and feel no need to touch my students. I can do everything I need to verbally.
Careful, David, I can hear the sirens coming for you from here. Sounds like you need a training course in appropriate teacher behavior. I wouldn’t send my kids to you for lessons. If you said this to your students or parents, should they come back? Maybe you should post your last name here so we can be sure they know your feelings if you are so certain about your convictions.
Nope – telling is also unacceptable. Nobody has a right to touch your body without your permission. Its one of the first lessons children are taught and the conversation is ongoing.
This article comes from a bigoted point of view. Why would we single out men as exhibiting “handsy” behavior, while leaving out women and trans people? Thanks for dragging us back into sexist thinking
Back into? Look at the statistics. Curtis wasn’t in trouble because of female predators. Neither were any of the headlines here as far back as I can remember. Wake up and smell reality.
Why do I highly doubt you legitimately care about “sexist thinking”?
Look at the statistics. Triggered much? Why drag trans into this? Careful, your prejudice is showing.
If you don’t know that sexiest thinking is still alive and well, you must be really out of it.
“Sorry, guy teachers, you had your chance (for the last 300 years) and you screwed it up.”
Denying employment opportunities to male teacher’s today because of what other male teachers did in the past is reminiscent of medieval pogroms for what ‘they’ supposedly did to Jesus…
Women have been denied employment for eternity for all kinds of reasons, like their gender or weight or society. Men need to step up and own their behaviors.
Not denying. Just not recommending. There is no killing here. Get your analogies straight, Paul.
It’s also grossly exaggerated.
“Denying employment opportunities to male teacher’s today because of what other male teachers did in the past is reminiscent of medieval pogroms for what ‘they’ supposedly did to Jesus…”
This is literally the worst analogy I’ve seen in months.
Why do so many men have a persecution fetish?
Yeah right, men today are exactly as persecuted as Jewish people in the Middle Age. God, how you love being the victim.
It’s not the past. It’s today and every day.
My wonderful harpsichord tutor was a paragon of propriety on this point. She would occasionally need to reposition one of my hands and always asked permission before touching. Surely this should be standard practice.
Yes! That is great.
Nope! It’s not at all. I implemented the practice in all areas of my life years ago and it’s had many positive impacts. What’s NOT normal is thinking you have a right to touch anyone’s body without their permission.
An absurd premise. The vast majority of music teachers, as well as professional musicians, are not gropers. The 1% get the sensational headlines. I studied at world class institutions with internationally famous artist teachers and there were no scandals.
Andrew, you are a man. You probably haven’t had to deal with a lot of things that girls and women have to deal with every day. Were you absent the day we talked about “Me Too’? I think you missed the point of this Dear Alma.
Walk out if you feel uncomfortable? Sounds like a recipe for false accusations and manifestation of teenage grudges and strops. Be honest, the vast majority of male teachers are innocent of guilt, the article above appears to presume the opposite. Small wonder that within the wider education system male teachers are an endangered species.
Ummm yes. Walk out if you feel uncomfortable. Always. Every time. In fact run. Everyone is free to leave any room whenever they wish for any reason whatsoever.
For quite a few years, I taught cello in a private school in New England. Although there were occasional serious students, many of them were just “checking a box” in their quest for eventual Ivy League admission.
One eighth grade girl in particular walked into the lesson room one day in a very short skirt over “woolies” (this being the early 2000s).
I wondered to myself “Let’s see what she tries to do.”
Sure enough, attempted side-saddle cello playing! I explained to her that wasn’t going to work. I then noticed she was wearing a cashmere sweater over her blouse. I said “I’m going to leave the room for a few minutes, and I want you to remove your sweater and place it over your lap. Then hold the cello the normal way.” I returned a few minutes later, and the lesson proceeded as usual (“Show me how you would practice this piece.” )
The point is, there are ways of making sure that both teacher and pupil are aware of the boundaries, and describing specific actions ahead of time, so both parties are in agreement and understanding.
I’m reminded of the horn player at my school who told her teacher, “If you put your hand on my leg again I will break your arm.”
That worked in that case because…
a) She indeed had the martial arts training to break his arm.
b) He was just an adjunct instructor who needed the students to justify his continued employment. I suppose he needed the arm, too.
But I can imagine those factors not being in place for other students. For them, it would be better to find the teacher who doesn’t need to feel a leg to teach an orchestral instrument.
Of the times a teacher has touched me in a lesson, it imparted very little/none of whatever they said they were trying to convey.
And it turns out we don’t exhale with our diaphragm anyway, so all that diaphragm-checking was wasted lesson time !
D’oh!
Solidarity.
It is literally so easy to ask “is it OK if I grab your hand/arm/etc?” – and just startlingly obvious in terms of basic decency
Yep! Totally the norm among kids. It’s NOT normal to touch without asking and it’s definitely noticed. Being asked for permission sends a clear message of trust and caring. Has made me a better person and strengthened relationships. Good stuff. Don’t sweat it.
What stupid bigotry. Men are devils, right.
This woman also obviously has big problems of her own.
DARVO. Thanks for the confession. It’ll be used to keep students safe.
Time for parents to attend lessons with their daughters, I’d say. Sit quietly in a corner and read. A few instances of this should send a strong message.
Wow, what insulting lunacy and BS. Condemnation of the entire male population? Collective guilt of an entire gender? Pure ignorance.
Whoever writes as “Alma” needs their head examined. And, judging from some of the comments below, “Alma” is not the only one.
This is a discredit to the website. To publish such unadulterated crap? Even worse.
Count me out as a reader in future.
DARVO in action. You have no place in civilized society so your absence from this site is a great relief.
All well recommended schools and colleges where young people under 18yrs(i.e. legally “children”) and/or vulnerable adults are taught are legally bound nowadays to first ensure that each job applicant has an “enhanced disclosure Access DBR” check carried out by the establishment and that he /she has obtained the individual necessary clearance certificate for working with young people. It is now illegal to employ anyone who refuses to co-operate with obtaining the certificate or who is refused correct clearance by the authorities. There are three types of certificate, basic, standard and the most thorough which is enhanced. The music teacher should always have an enhanced one as he will almost certainly find him/herself working one to one. Each organisation where a musician works is duty bound to do this process on its own behalf and not rely on one provided by the teacher himself, for example from another school or orchestra with child education element to its work as some orchestras do these days. It’s the same, if not more stringent still, in N Ireland. The Access search covers all elements and past enquiries etc regarding Child Protection and Safeguarding issues and in addition, other offences such as money fraud or anything which would tend to point towards an untrustworthy individual.. It was something we fought for and while nothing is a replacement for all the careful prevention points mentioned by Alma, it does however deter people, including those from abroad, with convictions or suspicious dismissals from applying for our posts.. Good establishments give careful Child Protection advice to new teaching Staff in addition to the above and the training must be re – done every third year to keep abreast of new issues eg cyber bullying etc. There will be a specially trained Safeguarding Designated staff member in every properly run school and college with the name on notice board and in their prospectus for all parents and guardians to have immediate ear to voice any concerns.. Always check your place of interest is aware and carefully keeps these legal rules.. Staff may not take young people off the premises to be taught in their own homes in good colleges or give one to one transport. I hope this is a little bit useful. Any music teacher nowadays who is not very careful is playing with fire!
What sexist nonsense. If this was a male saying the same thing about female teachers, there would be hell to pay. It’s another step along the namby-pamby, feminist-run, way of denouncing men.
Another raised hand huh? This is exactly why OPs message is CRITICAL.
If you’re finding yourself offended at this article, perhaps you need to ask yourself why that is.
I have theories, but they’re just that. So examine yourselves, gentlemen. If this bothers you so, so much, there’s likely a good reason for it.
Pot. Kettle.
You’d think they’d have the sense to be silently offended and not call themselves out. It’s wild.
I’m a private cello teacher. I don’t like being and I won’t touch a student without permission and I will give a specific reason. Family members always welcome to sit in on lessons. The teaching studio should always be a safe space for students.
The article sounds biased but I do remember that the retiring violin teacher at the university I attended was known as a “skirt chaser”. That was in 1980. Such behavior is unacceptable.
Meant to say “I don’t like being touched”. The word was left off by my phone.
Male music teachers rarely grope! If they do, report them to the appropriate authority. Some male teachers, unfortunately, are abusers but certainly not most! The majority are dedicated teaching musicians. Why are you vilifying male teachers when women are no better and attempts at affairs between female students and male teachers are often instigated by the female? This article you have written is both unfair and misleading.
It’s not about attempted affairs. It’s about grooming and sexual harassment. You are missing the point.
Don’t want you anywhere near my daughter. You’re sick.
How do you suppose fathers typically respond to this type of discussion? Do you think they feel insulted? Or do you think they might be pretty enthusiastic about protecting their children from harm?
SafeSecureKids.org provides free resources to help caregivers prevent sexual abuse and harassment by communicating with children about respect and consent.
This information is for parents, caregivers, and teachers of elementary-aged children.
Teach Your Child:
Your body belongs to you
You get to decide what happens to your body
No one should touch you without permission
Telling someone not to touch you is NOT rude
Consent means always choosing to respect others’ boundaries
Respecting someone’s boundaries shows that you care about them
Because of the ongoing media coverage highlighting sexual harassment, abuse, and assault, children and teens are exposed to these topics frequently. Teachers and parents need materials to help them communicate about these topics.
PCAR works to end sexual violence and advocates for the rights and needs of all sexual assault victims. PCAR partners with a network of rape crisis programs to bring help, hope, and healing around issues of sexual violence to the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania and beyond.
https://www.safesecurekids.org/teaching-consent
As a pianist who has worked with many singers, including during their coaching, I have often observed female teachers touching female singers to assess their diaphragm. It is a physical thing. The mechanics of the body. I never regarded this as concerning and believe it necessary.
Imagine suggesting a gymnast not have their trainer on hand to catch them for fear of physical contact. Absurd.
If you didn’t regard it as a problem you’re part of the problem. Get training right away.
This abuse happens everywhere, the BBC is rife for example and is euqually male teachers after young men as well as women. The real issue is why do those higher up the chain never do anything once abuse is reported? Are they all at it too? If those abusers were suspended immediately rather than waiting 20 years, most abuse would end.
The number of comments here couched in what was in the 1970s called “male chauvinist pig” language just proves the original complaint’s point. How about getting yourselves some self-awareness, guys?
Yes this comment section is alarming! Good teaching tool though to show parents exactly how rampant the problem is. Disturbing stuff. Stay safe out there.
Bravo
Bravo indeed! It takes tremendous courage and leadership to speak out about this. I’ll be sharing the message in my networks as well.
The sickness here is not that a small number of sick teachers grope their students, but that a far higher number of people are overreacting out of a fear that has been blown way out of proportion. This to me is a far deeper sickness. Not to be able to touch in a lesson, it’s ridiculous. It’s like asking a massage therapist not to be able to touch during a massage… How are we supposed to be able to communicate the subtleties of touch that one needs to make the instrument sound well?
I wouldn’t let my daughter anywhere near you. You’re sick.
How do you suppose fathers typically respond to this type of discussion? Do you think they feel insulted? Or do you think they might be pretty enthusiastic about protecting their children from harm?
SafeSecureKids.org provides free resources to help caregivers prevent sexual abuse and harassment by communicating with children about respect and consent.
This information is for parents, caregivers, and teachers of elementary-aged children.
Teach Your Child:
Your body belongs to you
You get to decide what happens to your body
No one should touch you without permission
Telling someone not to touch you is NOT rude
Consent means always choosing to respect others’ boundaries
Respecting someone’s boundaries shows that you care about them
Because of the ongoing media coverage highlighting sexual harassment, abuse, and assault, children and teens are exposed to these topics frequently. Teachers and parents need materials to help them communicate about these topics.
PCAR works to end sexual violence and advocates for the rights and needs of all sexual assault victims. PCAR partners with a network of rape crisis programs to bring help, hope, and healing around issues of sexual violence to the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania and beyond.
https://www.safesecurekids.org/teaching-consent
Gee, in “Tar” it’s a woman who’s the predator. Is that not a possibility IRL?
/s
Stupidity of progressive wokeism on display.
People think up all sorts of excuses to be sexist. Life gets easy and simple when half the world can’t be trusted. A whole lot of guesswork, building relationships you get to avoid. A common trait among stupid people, to just be honest.
It makes all the sense in the world to be vigilant around adult males, given human history, however avoiding them isn’t vigilant, it is straight up sexist.
Male teachers are just humans, and some have much to offer a student. Others have less to offer, and a few should certainly be avoided. Insert any other demographic into that statement.
Wouldn’t let my daughter anywhere near you.
How do you suppose fathers typically respond to this type of discussion? Do you think they feel insulted? Or do you think they might be pretty enthusiastic about protecting their children from harm?
SafeSecureKids.org provides free resources to help caregivers prevent sexual abuse and harassment by communicating with children about respect and consent.
This information is for parents, caregivers, and teachers of elementary-aged children.
Teach Your Child:
Your body belongs to you
You get to decide what happens to your body
No one should touch you without permission
Telling someone not to touch you is NOT rude
Consent means always choosing to respect others’ boundaries
Respecting someone’s boundaries shows that you care about them
Because of the ongoing media coverage highlighting sexual harassment, abuse, and assault, children and teens are exposed to these topics frequently. Teachers and parents need materials to help them communicate about these topics.
PCAR works to end sexual violence and advocates for the rights and needs of all sexual assault victims. PCAR partners with a network of rape crisis programs to bring help, hope, and healing around issues of sexual violence to the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania and beyond.
https://www.safesecurekids.org/teaching-consent
It is tremendously sad that a woman feels compelled to commit herself to print in the above manner. Whilst fully sharing her sentiment that the position of trust a teacher is placed in is not something to be abused or betrayed, to instil a blanket mistrust of teachers of the opposite sex through an absolute ‘no touch’ rule is extremely damaging and in no way conducive to good teaching. How, for example, does one convey the phenomenon of touch on a touch sensitive instrument like the piano, if a verbal explanation does not get the message across? Or a singer with poor posture finds their breath control being frustrated/impeded? One could of course, for the total avoidance of doubt make it a legal requirement that both the teacher and pupil went into a lesson wearing body cameras for their own protection; but if we have gone that far down the road of being unable to trust each other in the context of a private lesson, then I’m sure the vast majority of teachers, both male and female, would simply prefer not to bother teaching in the first place.
Thank you for identifying yourself.
How do you suppose fathers typically respond to this type of discussion? Do you think they feel insulted? Or do you think they might be pretty enthusiastic about protecting their children from harm?
SafeSecureKids.org provides free resources to help caregivers prevent sexual abuse and harassment by communicating with children about respect and consent.
This information is for parents, caregivers, and teachers of elementary-aged children.
Teach Your Child:
Your body belongs to you
You get to decide what happens to your body
No one should touch you without permission
Telling someone not to touch you is NOT rude
Consent means always choosing to respect others’ boundaries
Respecting someone’s boundaries shows that you care about them
Because of the ongoing media coverage highlighting sexual harassment, abuse, and assault, children and teens are exposed to these topics frequently. Teachers and parents need materials to help them communicate about these topics.
PCAR works to end sexual violence and advocates for the rights and needs of all sexual assault victims. PCAR partners with a network of rape crisis programs to bring help, hope, and healing around issues of sexual violence to the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania and beyond.
https://www.safesecurekids.org/teaching-consent
This whole post feels contrived to make an outdated and, frankly, quite dangerous, point. Pervs are pervs and come in all shapes and sizes. I had a lot of young, female piano students when I was an RNCM student and none of the parents ever had an issue with my being male. One father always stayed in the lesson to listen, but he also did that with the girl’s previous teacher, a BBC YM female prizewinner, so I thought nothing of it. He also had quite a long drive, so it made sense for him to stick around. Equating ‘male music teacher’ with, basically, ‘paedophile’ is base and unworthy of this site.
I find this article insulting to the vast majority of male music educators who have taught hundreds of private student with never a single thought of doing something as repulsive as you mention, and with only the thought of the musical and personal growth of said students. Why should a few “bad eggs”.tar the reputation of the vast majority of hard working, honorable male teachers. I, personally, will NOT wait 300 years to continue my private trombone teaching.
How do you suppose fathers typically respond to this type of discussion? Do you think they feel insulted? Or do you think they might be pretty enthusiastic about protecting their children from harm?
SafeSecureKids.org provides free resources to help caregivers prevent sexual abuse and harassment by communicating with children about respect and consent.
This information is for parents, caregivers, and teachers of elementary-aged children.
Teach Your Child:
Your body belongs to you
You get to decide what happens to your body
No one should touch you without permission
Telling someone not to touch you is NOT rude
Consent means always choosing to respect others’ boundaries
Respecting someone’s boundaries shows that you care about them
Because of the ongoing media coverage highlighting sexual harassment, abuse, and assault, children and teens are exposed to these topics frequently. Teachers and parents need materials to help them communicate about these topics.
PCAR works to end sexual violence and advocates for the rights and needs of all sexual assault victims. PCAR partners with a network of rape crisis programs to bring help, hope, and healing around issues of sexual violence to the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania and beyond.
https://www.safesecurekids.org/teaching-consent
It’s really hard to teach strings without touching a student. What exactly is meant here? I had a student once who flinched back when I tried to correct something in her hand position. I was stunned that someone would react that way. I never touched her again, but I wondered what was in her psyche that she reacted that way. BTW, I am female, and it was in a class with other students. Completely innocent.
Why WOULDN’T she flinch?? Kids are taught from preschool on that nobody is allowed to touch their body without their permission. You have no right to touch another person’s body without their permission ever. Neither do I. Nobody does. My DOCTOR asks for permission to touch me for crying out loud. The site below has training for you and you need to do it immediately.
SafeSecureKids.org provides free resources to help caregivers prevent sexual abuse and harassment by communicating with children about respect and consent.
This information is for parents, caregivers, and teachers of elementary-aged children.
Teach Your Child:
Your body belongs to you
You get to decide what happens to your body
No one should touch you without permission
Telling someone not to touch you is NOT rude
Consent means always choosing to respect others’ boundaries
Respecting someone’s boundaries shows that you care about them
Because of the ongoing media coverage highlighting sexual harassment, abuse, and assault, children and teens are exposed to these topics frequently. Teachers and parents need materials to help them communicate about these topics.
PCAR works to end sexual violence and advocates for the rights and needs of all sexual assault victims. PCAR partners with a network of rape crisis programs to bring help, hope, and healing around issues of sexual violence to the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania and beyond.
https://www.safesecurekids.org/teaching-consent
Why allow such obviously sexist rubbish on this site? It’s insulting to male musicians and it seems to be a fact that mysandrist women won’t be content until all males are done away with! If a male writer was hammering women in this way, you wouldn’t publish it.
SafeSecureKids.org provides free resources to help caregivers prevent sexual abuse and harassment by communicating with children about respect and consent.
This information is for parents, caregivers, and teachers of elementary-aged children.
Teach Your Child:
Your body belongs to you
You get to decide what happens to your body
No one should touch you without permission
Telling someone not to touch you is NOT rude
Consent means always choosing to respect others’ boundaries
Respecting someone’s boundaries shows that you care about them
Because of the ongoing media coverage highlighting sexual harassment, abuse, and assault, children and teens are exposed to these topics frequently. Teachers and parents need materials to help them communicate about these topics.
PCAR works to end sexual violence and advocates for the rights and needs of all sexual assault victims. PCAR partners with a network of rape crisis programs to bring help, hope, and healing around issues of sexual violence to the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania and beyond.
https://www.safesecurekids.org/teaching-consent
If this is not bias and sexism I don’t know what it is. Female teachers can be terribly manipulative, incompetent and even cruel. Shall we determine the fate of female teachers based on the emotional abuse their fellow women teacher have inflicted? This is an awful response and shame on anyone who agrees with it.
The fact is the vast majority are not ‘gropers’. The ludicrous sentiments in this letter are merely over dramatization of the facts. They somewhat echo Julian lloyd Webber’s equally misguided recent remarks (following the allegations made against a senior staff member at the RCM) that individual instrumental should become a thing of the past. Incredible coming from a brilliant musician with a long career in both performing/teaching. What planet is he on? OK- he’s in the enviable position of teaching advanced conservatoire students in the masterclass/group format. But the vast majority rely on one- to one teaching for their livelihoods. There are no conceivable reasons whatsoever that they should all give up because of a few perverts. Individual music tuition (if not abused in any shape or form) provides the best teacher/pupil model there is (always was) & the results can be inspirational for children & adults alike. Also- the paranoia over ‘touching’ to ‘demonstrate’. Tell me a good piano/violin teacher who hasn’t done it- obviously with the pupils’ consent. But this is another topic.
Interesting to have called this particular featurette ‘Dear Alma’ with especial connection to this subject, as Alma Mahler was carrying on with a guy behind Gustav’s back; namely Walter Gropius!
As a teacher, either you put up with my hands correcting your physical position and posture, or you put up with being poked by a baton. Teaching music is as much physical as it is anything else. Students need to stop whining about everything.
You have no business being near any child ever. Period. You have no right to touch ANY person’s body EVER. Nobody does. Thankfully for your students, a safe adult has now seen this message and will do everything possible to ensure parents, employers, clients, and authorities are warned that you pose a direct threat to the safety and wellbeing of your students.