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Dear Alma, I am a violist, beaten up by a violinist

Orchestras

norman lebrecht

October 15, 2023

From our agony aunt:

Dear Alma,

I am an adult amateur violist; a retired professional who plays in my local adult orchestra and in a string quartet. My problem is my first violinist. She is very harsh in rehearsals, accusatory, and it makes things uncomfortable. Our group is well-matched in terms of ability, and I like how we play together. Out of rehearsal we get along fine, but in quartet it’s like she is a different person.

Feeling Beat Up

Dear Feeling Beat Up,

The good news here is that you have found a satisfying outlet for your music, with the added bonus of liking your partners. Unfortunately, the problem you describe above is not uncommon for any age or level of group. There is something about a classical music rehearsal which can bring out the ogre in some (all, let’s be honest here) people. Not everyone is aware of their actions or the effects they have on others, and personal wishes, conflicting advice from others, and the pressure to perform well in front of colleagues can turn a good mood into a sour one in an instant.

Let’s talk about a couple of ideas to smooth things out and to foster good will amongst your group.

First, don’t take it personally. Remain calm, optimistic, and professional.

Secondly, suggest going for a coffee together on a non-rehearsal day, to talk about quartet. Make a document where people can suggest topics to discuss – you might be surprised with the things that others find concerning.

Thirdly, having a sense of humor can really help dispel tension. If you can find a way to laugh together, a negative aura can disappear in a snap.

Fourthly, I like to occasionally ask if I can record the rehearsal, to listen to while taking a jog or on the tube to work. Then I share to our group chat. It’s an easy way for anyone to do some autocorrect, including myself!

The main point is that we all make mistakes of judgement when rehearsing, and by finding a regular time to share our concerns, we can come together to enjoy the magic of chamber music without the baggage of accidental bad behavior. As Goethe said, chamber music is “four rational people conversing”. Now if we can just get rational…..