Dear Alma, My stand partner was fired for playing away. I could be next
OrchestrasFrom our super-busy agony aunt:
Dear Alma,
My stand partner was fired for being caught playing with another orchestra while supposedly being off injured.
Many people do this. They just don’t get caught. She was naive and reckless.
Now I’ve been offered one of her gigs – a triple fee for playing in a faraway city on the night of our orchestra’s season opener.
What’s your advice?
-Torn
Dear Torn,
You already know the answer. I can see it in your question. Follow your first instinct, which is to say “no”. You will sleep better, be happier, and will be filled with lightness rather than distrust and worry. When you go to your next event, you don’t want to have to write “Voldemort” on the sticky “Hello, my name is” name tag. That’s just a yucky feeling. Yuck.
There are many ways to say no. And many good things that can come from this offer, things that vastly improve your life and livelihood. So in a nutshell, it’s all good news.
Let’s take a look. You don’t need the money (you already have a job) so that’s a moot point. Sure, it would be a nice tasty treat and it’s fun to travel to a faraway location. But you don’t need it and it could only hurt you to take it. Hurt you in a lot of ways. In your current job, they already have their hackles up and will certainly be keeping an eye on any suspicious absences, so this would be a really stupid thing to do. That orchestra is probably offering triple because all of the nice, good people have said “no” and they are trying to find a player with a putrid heart and no sense of decency. Probably the person they find will be wearing a cape or have steam rising from their ears.
Be generous. Be kind. Be honest. Careers in music are based on interpersonal relationships. Be someone that people turn to for help and advice. Someone they can rely on. Be the best you can be. Your rewards will far outpace anything that you would get by saying “yes” to this orchestra, who, by the way, probably know that are asking you to lie and break your contract.
Let’s see what this offer can bring to you both at home and away.
Home:
Talk to your orchestra (can be just casually mentioned or more formal) and let them know that you have been offered this opportunity and turned it down. You are loyal and know it is important to be a solid, reliable member of your orchestra. Remember that you will use this orchestra as a reference for any future jobs and that a stellar recommendation from them is priceless. Don’t burn the bridge. That being said, you should mention that the pay is very high, and although you have turned it down, you wonder about the possibility of a raise at your current job. This way you will be loyal, have a good reference, and possibly a future raise.
Away:
Write to the orchestra as soon as possible. Tell them you have a previous obligation and cannot make this date. You are honored to be asked, and would absolutely like to be asked again at a future date. Give them some date options. Also, a list of very good players that they could hire. Maybe someone still in school, or a sub at your orchestra, or a chamber player or professor who has a looser schedule. They will appreciate your speed, honesty, drive, and help with finding a player.
A couple of years ago, I got called to be a last minute principal player for a major orchestra. Very prestigious and something I would love love love to do. It would look incredible on my resume, and there is nothing like the feeling of being pampered and treated like a star. But I had concerts already booked. I called them, recommended some players, and told them to please call again. They did. I turned them down 3 more times, and they called again and asked if they could just send me their season calendar and I could choose 3 weeks that would work for me. The more I said no, and the more people I recommended, the more they asked. The people they did hire were so grateful, and have thrown me a bone or two over the years, recommending me in turn for other opportunities.
In the end, being a good colleague and an honest person will help you rise much faster in your career than any other method. It’s the people that make us laugh, the people who we can count on, and the people who are warm and generous who we want to work with. No matter how good you are on your instrument, if you succumb to temptations which are hurtful and unkind, your life will suffer. No amount of accolade is worth selling your soul. Just ask Lord Voldemort.
Definitely not a London muso! The profession is vicious here.
Dear Alma,
This is Marooned (https://slippedisc.com/2023/09/dear-alma-our-conductor-is-a-bully/)
Thank you for your advice. Orchestras are very complex. A couple of us went to coffee with our older, bullied colleagues, and it was a good start to just let them know we care. Next steps to come but wanted to give you an update. Thanks for your clear advice.
That’s great news!
This is a wonderful forum to share ideas. It is so nice to read comments from admin, musicians, students and more here, from all sides of the question. I hope for more conversations such as this with future Dear Alma quandaries.
Yes I am enjoying the comments as much as the post!
Daaaaamn Chicago is full of infidels
Wiiindy Ciiiity
Even if “Tom” sounds like a troll (how can he not be, given recent news, as illustrated by the photo), the last bit of advice by Alma is golden: In life, trusted loyal interpersonal relationships matter infinitely more than grabbing that “once in a life time” (it never is) opportunity that manages to screw your friends and colleagues (oh they remember), since karma has a way of returning, one way or another.
(Something, alas, learned only by experience, but you’d think even a teenager would benefit from the wisdom of a parent…if only…)
Yes, agreed. It’s always good to bounce an idea like this off of a trusted friend (like Alma) before diving in.
Look closely at the page.
Although the tight font and its color are not helpful for legibility, the supposed letter writer’s screen name was not “Tom” (as in the nickname for Thomas) but “Torn” (as in conflicted about what to do).
Pretty odd, the already fired stand partner wasn’t available to take that gig?
Not to question the advice but I saw a very similar situation: player fired for the same reason, then later on the other group hired her and now is earning probably double than what she made before as that particular band got a huge pump up of money in recent years. So… Happy ending?
Interesting……sounds quite odd! I wonder how that person is feeling these days?
“Many people do this????” Are you serious?
We have all seen it…
Have you ever been to Los Angeles? The studio musicians are always looking for a better gig and cancelling…
Many people do this, but only once
lol
So the picture and story clearly implies that’s a Bea Chen – CSO related story, so let’s pretend it is.
Well allow me to call absolute BS and say this one is completely made up. This person claims their “stand partner” was fired, that means this person is a violist. The offer was supposed to be three times the fee of CSO weekly salary (not very clear but I assume it’s that since you get paid per week and not per concert)? WHO in the world would pay a viola player 12k per concert unless you are a recognized international soloist??? Secondly this kind of fee means this would be a major “gig” with a major conductor and orchestra, how exactly would a section member of CSO go about getting such invitation without having some sort of solo career going and having a manager? Thirdly this kind of a concert (sorry calling it a gig just seems ludicrous) doesn’t just get offered on such short notice, it would be planned at least a year in advance, there would be publicity campaign going on and the person invited would have enough time to negotiate their leave of absence.
Next time try little harder “Torn”…
it is unfortunate that this particular question may point towards an actual person, but the conversation it is encouraging is important and interesting to all of us.
Well if it were a true story, I hope CSO managemnet doesn’t read this site.
EVERYONE reads SD!
“Crazy” wrote, “ Well allow me to … say this one is completely made up.”
Brava/o! ALL of these “agony aunt” posts are completely made up. They are intended to amuse but the only funny thing about them is the number of readers who take them seriously. That may partly be because they’re too long: NL forgets that brevity is the soul of wit. It’s time to kick these posts into the long grass.
Yes you read….
Good advice – we all make mistakes on the way, it happens.
It’s actually quite simple: when you join an orchestra — any orchestra, whether top 5 or regional — you also sign on to give the orchestra full priority over any other professional obligations. Often, this is even spelled out (at least in European orchestras) in the very form you fill out to apply for the job, before you even take the audition. You may of course request time off from the orchestra, but if it is denied, there’s really nothing you can do, expect perhaps appeal and see whether they might change their mind, but if they don’t, there truly is no alternative. I think part of this issue comes from the fact that the level of playing is now so high that many musicians, who at some point need to start making a living, view an orchestra job mostly as a means to an end, and that their true fulfillment comes from activities outside the orchestra, such as solo or chamber music opportunities. But this doesn’t change the fact that any orchestra member, no matter how brilliant they might be, still remains an orchestra player. It’s very tough out there. The level of playing, at least technically (not always musically, in fact) is simply unprecedented. Perfection has almost become a given and is now expected. Many titled players in today’s day and age, such as concertmasters, would have had world-wide careers a generation or two ago, and would literally be household names. There is no shortage of outstanding players, and the supply far exceeds the demand.
The Chens were not impressed enough with Ravinia programming or visiting conductors to participate in Cso concerts .
They disliked the programming and artists enough to take the risk ..who wants to play with live canons ..
As a freelancer , I didn’t feel it was right to cancel one gig for another .
You know who else doesn’t play the 1812, or film scores on movie nights, or with bad conductors?
Unemployed musicians.
So boo hoo, if in exchange for tenure and guaranteed life-long income, you actually have to play things that your ticket-buying customers, who pay your salaries, find enjoyable.
This is the second time I am reading a comment claiming that Chen’s were not impressed with the Ravinia programming, implying that they were right to take a different opportunity? I’m sorry to say but as an orchestral player, your job is to perform what the artistic department planned and nobody gives a damn what you think about it. If I were to take off for a different gig every time I am unimpressed by the programming, I’d probably play 10 weeks a season instead of 47. If a gig with youth orchestra is worth more to you then leave the 185k job to someone who actually wants it.
My small-town college used to do “Messiah” each year and hired professionals for the four solo parts.
One year, the bass singer made such a great impression that he was immediately signed to return the next year.
However, next year came around and he asked to be let out of his contract. The Chicago Symphony had offered him a gig that would be so great for his career but conflicted with our Messiah dates.
No, no, a thousand times no, replied our conductor; the deal is the deal.
Still, the singer continued to beg to be let out.
Eventually he was told, OK we’ll release you, but you’re going to sign to do the next three years, for half our usual fee.
Or:
1) singer breaks contract because there’s no penalty for doing so in the contract (because there rarely is.
2) they’re getting called by Chicago, so they decline to sign the offer for the next three years.
3) and?
As a general rule, I say “if they called you once, they’ll call again”
You can decline the offer from the CSO stating schedule conflicts and they’ll find another time to hire you, but you will not be invited back to your regional gig and if the CSO doesn’t make your career take off, you won’t have the regional gig to support yourself with.
If he did return for the next three years for half the fee, it’d mean that his Chicago gig did absolutely nothing for his career!
Always, always, always, respect your home base. Prioritize your daily obligations: wellness of self and artistry, professional obligations of schedule (committed and implied). Do not fear being left without options, as the commitments you keep speak volumes to your current (and potential) colleagues.
Written as a five-decade journeyman (brass) and loyal AFM member in a right-to-work state.
Absolutely
As a former U.S. orchestra manager / admin – if your current orchestra isn’t competitive with pay, that’s on them. The org either needs to be realistic with the caliber of musicians they can keep around or open up the checkbook.
There is not a single gig out there that could offer a section member of CSO triple the fee they can get doing their job. The whole thing above is made up as “crazy” pointed out. It’s truly shameful if that was written by one of my colleagues…
Let’s say you’re a person in a relationship or marriage with another person who loves you. You agree to each other that this relationship between the 2 of you is exclusive and not an open one. Then an alluring male/female/non-binary individual who you think looks good and says all the right things to you tries to lure you into a relationship or a hot night of passion. Would it be right to pursue that individual trying to make a pass at you without telling your partner, and on top of that, tell a lie to your partner about where you will be and that you will be busy on a day because you are actually off seeing if the grass is greener with this other person? Is this morally right if you are in a committed monogamous relationship you agreed to be a part of? Is it ethical to pursue other outside performance opportunities if you are under contract with XYZ Orchestra to play a certain amount of shows for a fee you agreed to? Believe me, anyone who answers ‘yes’ to the 3rd question will also probably think it’s okay to go on dates with other people while in an exclusive relationship to see if they can make an ‘upgrade.’
I want to befriend Alma. Who is this person!?
Dear David,
Perhaps one day we will meet, and not even know it.
Sincerely,
Alma
You are obviously a person with a lot of “listening time” to spare, David… for Alma never uses one word when twenty would do!
Very good advice. Honesty and integrity are not for sale and nothing is ever gained by profiting by compromising yourself. The money becomes the thirty pieces of silver and you will find it bitter and you will not enjoy spending it.
Agreed