Fantasy classics: the new game

In a celebratory article about Elgar, launching the Daily Telegraph’s Elgar week, BBC Proms director Nicholas Kenyon observes of a distinguished scholar that ‘it is perhaps understandable of (Donald) Mitchell to regret that Elgar did not become more like Mahler.’
Come again? Apart from Elgar lacking any trace of irony or central-European angst, it would have taken more than a leap of faith and conscience to transform the blunt, race-going, business-minded Edward into Gus the nervous wreck.
Still, it kicks off this year’s great Christmas game – Who should have been more like whom?
Try five for starters:
Wouldn’t it have been great if
– Lenny Bernstein had been more like Pierre Boulez,
– Boulez had sounded more like Charles Aznavour
– Aznavour had sung like Roberto Alagna (closer than you’d guess)
– Alagna was as tough as Angela Gheorghiu
– And Gheorghiu was more like Saint Hildegard of Bingen.
Now play on.