The ten best orgasm symphonies
OrchestrasLast night, we learned that Tchaikovsky’s 5th can deliver full-body pleasure.
Here are nine more symphonies that give added value of an intimate kind:
2 Saint-Saens’ 3rd (wait for the organ)
3 Nielsen’s Inextinguishable (he’s still going)
4 Shostakovich 4th (the Lady Macbeth riffs)
5 Berlioz Fantastique (oh, yes)
6 Strauss Sinfonia Domestica (parental warning: includes copulation)
7 Szymanowski 3rd: song of the night (Tristan in bedsocks)
8 Messaien Turangalila (he keeps you hanging on)
9 Rachmaninov 2nd (works for some)
10 Scriabin Poème de l’Extase (says it all)
Any more?
Today is the first, but not of April…
My thoughts, exactly!
They call it wankholiday in the UK.
Thanks for the interpretations, Norm. Never thought you had it in you.
Langgaard 1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2owQATYnBk4
That’s a Rued one….
Brilliant!
He really was…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASBXuz1zvRg
Malcolm Arnold: Toy Symphony (for adventurous listeners)
Sorry, but everyone knows saxophone players are the best at getting their partners to achieve this, and they’re rarely included in symphony orchestras. That said, we must include Ravel’s Bolero for including several saxophones in the score, not to mention Dudley and Bo.
The first symphony of Meredith Willson (of Music Man fame) has a saxophone quartet playing.
Rossini said (sorry this is a paraphrase; I cannot find the original quote) that he felt pressured to orchestrate his Petite Messe Solennelle, because otherwise Monsieur Berlioz would do so, for an orchestra of saxophones.
I think you forgot:
Beethoven #3: ”Erotica” [sic]
In the 1980s when the South Bank used to post details of classical concerts in adverts on the Underground I once saw Beethoven’s 3rd subtitled ‘Erotica’ – maybe a typesetters bit of fun?
I used to moonlight in Tower Classical in Piccadilly and we had lots of shoppers asking for the Erotica. I was a bit confused at first …
Not to mention the “Past-oral” and the ch-oral “Ode to Joy”.
Usually, whatever my hometown Chicago Symphony happens to be playing. Tonight, it’s Tchaikovsky’s 4th (and the Elgar Cello Concerto with Yo Yo Ma playing cello). Call me crazy, but I am looking forward to this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLHj-eekdNU
Bruckner is best for premature ejaculations…over and over again
Tristan is best for edging … 5 hours of edging including intermissions
Beethoven 5th, first 4 notes, best for those who just want to get it over with and then go to sleep, slam bam thank you ma’am
A friend of mine has always said that the Scherzo of Bruckner’s 2nd was an epic f*ck translated into music
That may explain why the 2nd belongs to Paavo’s and Muti’s core repertoire.
Bruckner – “Climactus interruptus”
Premature is the second name of Rachmaninov. As for plateaus, a lot of Rossini is just like that. Run and buy the Ewa Podles recital on Naxos.
In fact, Romantic Italian opera grew on the fertile soil of repressed sexuality, and my big reproach to Verdi is that he turned an art form into vocal pornography. Just compare, say, Di tale amor from Trovatore with Pensa alla patria from L’Italiana in Algery (which, fatherland or not, is as sexy as they come) — it is as if you switched to an adult channel by mistake.
OMG, I don’t think I’ll ever get over the edging aspect of Tristan! After Isolde’s Liebestod, I’ll bet it’s quite a load.
End of the Mahler Second, whose orchestral/choral climax is followed by a brief but lovely period of instrumental afterglow before climaxing a second time. (The chorus did, after all, just finish singing “Rise again.”)
But only if you are a 14 yr old boy. By 15, you’ve got past that sort of thing. Mahler I mean.
Oh that ORGAN – Saint- Saens– WOW! Great choice!
I might add, though not a symphony- Beethoven’s Kreutzer Violin Sonata (1804) #9 Op 47- is another match for this topic. The first movement at about 9-min in, until the end– is an orgasm followed by an afterglow. Meow!
Mahler’s Res-erection:
Replace “enthusiasm” by “orgasm” here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoZdwam7wgw
Came here to make sure this piece was mentioned. As a singer who has performed it many times, it completely drains you. And anyone who doesn’t think it’s orgasmic should just look for any of the famous videos/stills of Bernstein conducting it.
Strauss “Don Juan,” figures F-G-H is the most explicit orchestral example. It’s the whole point of Jacob Druckman’s “Valentine” for solo double bass.
I remember Druckman’s “Valentine” with a student at Tanglewood in the mid 70s. I was an undergrad and it was the first time I’d seen a teacher’s sexual exploitation of a student. The troubling memories of it, especially the young woman’s look of confusion and shame, haunt me to this day. I don’t know the Druckman work you mention, but I’d probably be disgusted and saddened watching it.
Sad but true and all too common.
Beethoven’s Erotica Symphony.
Climax (of course) of Mahler 2nd
I’ve said it all along: classical music is nothing but pornography for the ears.
Prelude to Rosenkavalier…the only music I know of intended to simulate an orgasm. Supposedly a description of Strauss in bed with his wife.
Because you never listened to Lady Macbeth of Mtsensk?
Oh YES, YES!
And don’t forget orgasmic opera arias: the world’s most acclaimed Italian opera conductor would suggest “Rivedrai le foreste imbalsamate” and “Selva opaca”. He swears by them and knows what Verdi and Rossini really meant! We have to trust him! :-DDD
“Turangalila” for sure. “Poem of Ecstasy” seems more like a hallucinogen than sex; the musical equivalent of an opium trip. But more than Nielsen’s “Inextinguishable,” the bigger musical orgasm is in the “climax” – as it were – of Nielsen’s Fifth Symphony, first movement, following a raging scene between clarinet of snare drum. After the big moment, the clarinet lights a cigarette, lies back and thinks of Denmark.
Incidentally, in the last Lebrecht Listens review of Fabio Luisi’s Nielsen set, I thought it was an interesting interpretation to call the Fourth the “Inexhaustible,” but I see that it’s since been changed to the usual.
In Mahler s symphonies there are some very hot moments. The sort of breaking pathos expressed there is very orgasmic.
I guess all great classical music delivering intense emotions feels joyously orgasmic. That is why we are crazy about it, in fact. It gives us more and better orgasms than anyone and anything else in life.
Lever du Jour, Daphnis and Chloe. Two climaxes.
Ein Heldenleben’s Hero’s Companion section.
Haydn is excellent for that. Matin, Midi et Soir. La Passione. Surprise. My Military friends who have have studied in Oxford and live in London used to copulate around the Clock and have orgasms with Drumrolls.
If you happen to view Sibelius’ “Kullervo” as being a symphony,
check out the third movement, before and following measure
323 (rehearsal letter “L”)….it’s shockingly graphic….especially with Vänskä/Lahti.
Hall of the Mountain King – the most erotic music ever written according to Norwegian males….starts slow and soft and…well….
Mahler’s 6th, last movement, is good if you are able to come more than once in 20 minutes and like a pinch of sadism.
Zarathustra is the classic for a bold egocentic jerk-off.
You forgot Der Rosenkavalier. The opening depicts an actual orgasm.
It should be a female orgasm given the “Hosenrolle”.
Franz Schmidt Symphony N°4, first movement.
Bruckner 8 Adagio
Fibich Poème in D flat (would have to be a pretty quick one)
Bruckner uses cymbals in the 7th to let us know when the high point has arrived.
Not a symphony, but Brahms double concerto is what I think of first in this category!
There are moments throughout Sibelius’s symphonies that could be interpreted as orgasmic. If Tchaikovsky’s Fifth does it for you then I imagine Sibelius’ Second or Fifth could also get you there.
And though he didn’t write any symphonies (which actually isn’t a particularly sexy form), Monteverdi definitely wins the prize as the most erotic composer.
Lemminkäinen’s Maidens of Saari are full of copulatory rhythmicity and ejaculative climaxes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlIDFYx1spg
No doubt about it ….. Stauss’s Alpine Symphony. Or anything with multi-horn parts come to think about it!!!!!
Tchaikovsky’s “Polish” Symphony
Ravel’s Bolero a long-standing open-air favorit.
Reminds me of the anecdote of the lady who supposedly came up to Stokowski and thanked him that “wonderful Bordello”.
How about Beethoven’s (ch)oral Fantasy in c minor?
For what it’s worth…
David Diamond once said that Howard Hanson had an orgasm while conducting his own Symphony No. 2 (the “Romantic”)…
Takes self-pleasuring to a new dimension.
Ha,ha,ha…
Symphonies and orgasm?
Next time better to try with opera and ballet music!!!
How can you miss the most obvious one? Beethoven’s 5th — at the moment of transition from the third to the fourth movement. OH! And Beethoven’s 8th. The development section in the first movement has to be Beethoven imagining climaxing with his Immortal Beloved!
Second most obvious — coda in the finale of Brahms First is embarrassingly overt.
Chopin’s Db nocturne op 27.2 (have you noticed that it’s a duet?) has an exquisite and subtle mutually-satisfactory climax followed up with languorous billing and cooing…
Opening of Der Rosenkavalier….
None of the above…
Rach 2 “works for some”? Aw, come on. If the climax (ahem) of the development of the first movement isn’t a musical you-know-what, what is?
Haydn Symphony #69
A couple of people have mentioned the big horn glissando in “Der Rosenkavalier” that’s sometimes euphemistically referred to as the “embrace motive”, but it’s clearly much more than a chaste embrace.
https://youtu.be/yqp2cOHkvfE?t=70
Even more amorous is the extremely amorous cat duet that covers the change of scene midway through Ravel’s “L’enfant et les sortileges”. There’s an obvious buildup, climax, and even a post-coital sigh played on a slide whistle.
https://youtu.be/c2BCyDlUKMk?t=373
Mahler’s 5th Adagietto is not so much a romantic ode to Alma Mahler as much as the description of a perfect epic relaxed fuck, you know (very typical, newlyweds and all). So much so that It should flow without much of a rush, but people still discuss If It should last more or less than 10 minutes, 7 minutes could be too much of a quickie, more than eleven and It loses interest and becomes too dead for some, you know… You can clearly identify an acute climax near the end and kind of a satisfied fainting as the strings fade in the end… like tired breathing, you know. Well, maybe only I came up with these silly comparisons, who knows
There is no doubt that the last pages of the “Rite of Spring” will stimulate anyone’s libido, whether you’re a performer or a listener.
The Adagio from Spartacus by Khachaturian. It certainly has nothing to do with sailing ships!
Danse Generale from Ravel Daphnis Et Chloe
What about Beethoven’s ‘Erotica’ Symphony no .3?
It’s EROICA, as in Heroic
Ravel’s Rapsodie Espagnol just drips with aching lust
The Saint-Saëns organ symphony? Much as I love it, the start of the last movement uncomfortably reminds me of attempts to build up enough steam to get a locomotive rolling.
This one (one hopes) involves the fictional executant rather than the partaker: the character Judge Turpin in Stephen Sondheim’s •Sweeney Todd• brings himself to orgasm while simultaneously contemplating his beautiful young ward and flagellating himself. (The number is frequently cut from stagings of Sondheim’s masterpiece, even if the copious throat-slittings remain.)
Sibelius’ Kullervo, 3rd movement literally has an incest-orgasm. Quite explicit 😉
Cesar Franck.Symphony in D Minor. Finale
Prokofiev “Romeo and Juliet”, balcony/bedroom scene…..the most erotic classical passage.
Yes. Great suggestion! A good portion of that piece (ie: Montagues and Capulets–Dance of the Knights, etc.) I would put in the erotic category.
Beethoven’s “Kreutzer,” first movement. The way the violin and piano chase each other… This piece inspired a short story about passion.
Just about any Rachmaninov, but the last ten minutes of the 3rd Piano Concerto takes overall first prize with “Palm de Erotica.”
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/00KAgzMwGG3caWJYgW9Scm?si=0c479140bfcd460f i did the playlist
The last movement of Beethoven’s 2nd has the clearest musical orgasm I’ve ever heard, to this day… just listen, and you’ll know it when it “comes” (it’s just before the final coda).
Ooops, I meant the last movement of the *4th* Symphony!!
What happened to Bolero?
If I could include a choreographic symphony, nothing on this list comes close to the choral opening of Ravel’s “Daphnis et Chloe”.
A few measures before the end of Beethoven’s 6h.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgc5lry31Vo
The end of Act I, Die Walkure, is one big orgasm. And of course, that’s exactly what Siegmund and Sieglinde do when the curtain comes down. Sometimes they don’t even wait for the curtain!
My orgasmic musical moment has always been the Liebestod from Tristan. After 3 1/2 hours of not resolving the cadence, the gentle release achieved by the final resolution… they don’t call it the little death for nothing.
The Symphony No. 9 in E minor, “From the New World”, Op. 95, B. 178, popularly known as the New World Symphony, was composed by Antonín Dvořák
The first movement of Schumann’s 4th and the last movement of Brahms’ 2nd
Apologies… first movement of Schumann’s 2nd, not 4th
There is a shared orgasm aria in Boito’s Mefistofele. technically not a symphony, i guess..
Many parts of classical music make me tingle and swoon, mainly in the legato movements:
– Beethoven’s “Emperor”
Concerto
– Saint-Saens’ “Organ” (“Orgasm”?) Symphony
– Mozart’s Piano Concerto No. 23
There are many others. In a word, the effects of classical music can be very visceral and intense.
Are you freaking serious?
Aaron Copland’s Symphony for Organ and Orchestra.
Ravel’s bolero should be on the list. There’s no better musical expression of an orgasm
How about the last movement of Beethoven’s Sixth, when the music rises in a sequence, then Ludvig, in his genius, slams on a subdominant, causing the music to subside into the tonic, “satisfied.”
Georg Friedrich Haas, IN VAIN (2000)
[don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it]
Beethoven’s Piano Concerto No. 3 in C Minor Op. 37. There are two performances I have listened to (and watched). One, countless times–the reason I am aware of how moving classical music can be emotionally.
Still, G-Rated performances reveal it, too (a performance with the Bohuslav Martinu Philharmonic comes to mind). But a stunningly brilliant performance is closer to NC-17, especially if you take into account a conductor’s near-boorish behavior.
The glorious final trio in Der Rosenkavalier is, to my mind, the most explicit depiction of an orgasm in the classical repertoire, complete with timpani roll at the climax,